Living.Laughing.Loving.Learning.

Demi Lovato - Skyscraper - YouTube

2011-08-23T21:26:00.000-05:00

Ink Me

2011-08-13T22:07:00.000-05:00

I got my fifth tattoo today. :) It's Live Laugh Love with a heart on my wrist. :) Crystal has to draw me a few more so I can get even more! I've got the ideas rolling through my head! I need one bigger one on my upper back that is going to represent my boys. How they are EVERYTHING to me, the sun in my cloudy life, the beautiful tree built from my roots, they are my world and I want a tattoo that SHOWS that! And the other tattoo I want next is a coverup for the one I hate on my ankle! I have NO idea what to get on that one! But I'm sure we can think of something! I LOVE tattoo's, especially really really good ones! Meaningful ones are the best!

Anyhow, I've been doing alot of thinking lately.....I'm very unique! I hope that someday someone see's that and scoops me up. But they will have to be very worthy! I'm weird and boring and funny and love to laugh. But I love to relax too! And I love tattoo's obviously. I don't drink hardly at all, not a clubber, not a partier, Just a good ol' girl I guess. Don't get me wrong, I've got spunk and fire in my soul, but I'm sweet as pie too! I love to shop at Office Depot as much as I love to get Tattoo's or see live music! hahahaa! A good balance of such would be splendid to find in a man!! Anyway, enough rambling, my brain can't stop tonight......

Quote of the Day

2011-08-11T18:06:00.002-05:00

"If you want to be happy, set a goal that

commands your thoughts, liberates your

energy, and inspires your hopes."

- Andrew Carnegie

Ordinary Days

2011-07-30T21:29:00.000-05:00

After the boys spent the day in Lufkin with Daddy, they came home. They had fun, which is good. But boy did I miss them! I enjoy my alone time, and I was super productive, but when they got here I just wanted to smother them in kisses and.hugs. Gavin said he missed me. :) And sat in my lap and just snuggled for a bit. Those are the greatest moments! He is very excited that tomorrow is a "stay at home" day. :) I am lovin this weekend! Did nothing at all but work online and listen to music videos ALL DAY LONG! Awesomeness. Now I'm still going at it, but need to go to bed because these little munchkins wake up early!

Uncle Kracker - Writing It Down (video) pop remix audio

2011-07-30T21:22:00.001-05:00

The first Saturday...

2011-07-30T08:55:00.000-05:00

Well I'm at peace with the idea of getting a divorce.
I'm ok with knowing that what's done is done.
I'm confident that I tried all I could possibly try.
I'm sure I'm a strong enough Mom to do this alone.
I know now that he was not my forever husband.
I'm positive better things will come my way.

But I'm NOT sure WHY he did those things to me.
I'm not ok with the idea that Me and My Boys weren't enough for him.
I'm mad that so much time was wasted when I knew deep down.
I'm sad that the boys do not have the fulltime Dad I hoped for them to have.
And I'm not happy when I have to let the Boys go to His house while I just hope the bag I packed is enough for them.
I don't like kissing them goodbye. :(

Happy Song...........

2011-07-28T19:05:00.002-05:00

Deeper Question Time.....

2011-07-24T13:12:00.000-05:00

Are you where you WANT to be at this stage in your life? Are you doing what you wanted to be doing? Do you have the things you hoped to have? Are you happy with your place in life?

I have to say Yes and No. I'm very proud and happy with where I've gotten in my life. With myself, with my kids, with my career, with the things I have. The only real thing I'd have to say No to is related to relationships. I have to admit I wish I were in my forever marriage with my best friend for life. But I also have to say I'm happy with myself and I'm not sad that I don't have it yet. My time will come. The "one" will come along at some point I'm sure and when he does, the wait will be well worth it. In the meantime, I'm more than happy with myself, my kids, my career, and all the growth and happiness I experience with all of these!

Another Chapter of Life Has Begun......

2011-07-24T13:01:00.000-05:00

Well typical to life's pattern....life has changed yet again. I'm now playing the happy role of Single Mother to two Brilliantly Adorable and Funny Boys, Gavin and Jaxon. Gavin is almost 4 and Jaxon is just over 1 years old!

My whole life is work, kids and MYSELF. I'm taking time to learn more about myself. I'm pretty confident in who I am at this stage of my life and I'm confident in the things I aspire to do and get in my life.

Here is to another attempt at routine blogging!

Well

2010-10-27T17:49:00.001-05:00

I said I was gonna post more but dang it if life didn't get in the way again! I'll try harder!

Only grace. Matthew West lyrics

2010-10-11T21:30:00.001-05:00

Love this song!!

There is no guilt here
There is no shame
No pointing fingers
There is no blame

What happened yesterday has disappeared
The dirt has washed away
And now it's clear

There's only grace
There's only love
There's only mercy
And believe me it's enough

Your sins are gone
Without a trace
And there's nothing left now
There's only grace

You're starting over now
Under the sun
You're stepping forward now
A new life has begun
Your new life has begun

There's only grace
There's only love
There's only mercy
And believe me it's enough

Your sins are gone
Without a trace
And there's nothing left now
There's only grace

[ Matthew West Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
And if you should fall again
Get back up, get back up
Reach out and take my hand

Get back up, get back up
Get back up again
(Get back up)
Get back up again

There's only grace
There's only love
There's only mercy
And believe me it's enough, it's enough

Your sins are gone
Without a trace
And there's nothing left now
There's only, there's only grace
(Get back up)

There's only mercy
And believe me it's enough, it's enough

Your sins are gone
(Get back up)
Without a trace
(Get back up)
And there's nothing left now
There's only, there's only grace

So get back up
Get back up again
(Get back up, get back up )
Get back up again

The Way to Begin - Krystal meyers

2010-10-11T21:24:00.001-05:00

"The Way To Begin"

Dear God
It's me again down here
Don't wanna sound insincere
I'm lost
Sometimes you're so unclear
What can I do?
I'm feeling so far from you

Frustrated
Irritated
Disconnected from it all
The weight of the world
Has pushed me to the wall

[Chorus]
I surrender
To you I'm giving in
Come take me
Save me
I want to start again
I'll open my broken heart
'Cause I've reached the end
And you are the way to begin

I've seen a million empty smiles
Living in denial
I don't wanna live like that
Where nothing's real
I hate how it is to feel

Frustrated
Irritated
Disconnected from it all
I'm breaking
I'm aching for something beautiful

[Chorus]

All the riches in this world
Couldn't fill this great big hole
It takes something so much more
Only you can take me
You can make me whole

[Chorus]

[ KRYSTAL MEYERS LYRICS at www.AZLyrics.com ]

Ickyness

2010-10-11T19:47:00.001-05:00

I've been sick today! Sinus infection! Slept all day thanks to my mom watching the boys and my hubby working in the garage! Woke up at 3 pm feeling alot better! After a nice shower and hair drying we are headed to get boys and go to dinner with my dad and sister!

Ready by Third Day

2010-10-05T18:05:00.001-05:00

I'm ready for the winds to change
I'm ready for a brighter day
I'm ready for the sun to shine down on me
I'm waiting for a song to sing
I'm looking for a brand new thing
I'm ready now to live a life that I believe

I want the world to turn because of love
And mercy to find each of us
Doing what we can to just believe
I want the world to know that You're the One
Who fills me up and gives me hope
And brings about this change that's in me
Oh yeah, I'm ready, yeah
You know I'm ready now

I'm ready for the truth to be
Something that can set us free
Does anybody still believe we'll make it through
I'm ready now to take a stand
To live life for more than myself
Tell me now, my friend, are you ready, too

I can't sit around waiting for it all to change
It's gonna take every single one of us doing what we can
There's lots of fighting in this world but there's so much loving, too
So take my hand, I'm ready now for you

Lord knows I'm ready
You know I'm ready

I'm ready for the winds to change
I'm ready for a brighter day

Tuesday.

2010-10-05T17:17:00.001-05:00

Tuesday is just another day but it felt like a good one. I really think my changed attitude has made all aspects of my life better! Just feels good! Today was productive. Uneventful really, but productive. I maintained my cheerfulness despite an occassional bump here or there. Some people are apparently unhappy in their life so they go out of their way to be evil and vindictive and try to bring others down. But it's not gonna work on me and my family. This one will back fire in a big way!

"God is love, and He speaks through you, you've got something to say, and no one says it like YOU" ;-) love Matthew West

Jaxon.

2010-10-04T18:02:00.001-05:00

Jaxon is 3 1/2 months old and weighs 17.8 lbs!! He is wearing 6-9 month clothes!! He had to go to doc today because he was coughing alot and wheezing! He has bronchitis! And has to do breathing treatments every 4-6 hrs. Poor guy did not like the first one, will see If he likes next one better!

Like petals in the wind...

2010-09-29T20:42:00.001-05:00

Today is gone, like petals in the wind, just flew on by! Busy busy but not bad. Pretty productive. Living on the cheerful positive side. Nice neighborhood ;-).

Lots of home projects on my mind. I wanna get my comforter recovered, couch recovered, new curtains too! I just feel fresh n shiny n new and wanna make everything reflect that!!

Let your light shine through me onto everyone in my life!

I love TobyMac and Matthew West! Geez I'd love for them to both be in concert together at the House of Blues or Nokia theater!

Busy Week

2010-09-28T21:11:00.001-05:00

This has been a busy two days at work. But very productive. I like feeling accomplished and on a good roll. I like clearing my desk off and marking things off my list! Next week I start another quarterly report! Fun!!

Jaxon is growing way too fast. Wearing some 6-9 mth clothes and he is only 3 1/2 mths old! He is a big coo'er!! He smiles so much. On week days he sleeps almost all evening and all night except one quick feeding around 3-4:30 am.

Our morning routines are getting easier. At least when Chris helps they work good. The older I get the more I realize I THRIVE on routines.

Also addicted to post-it notes ha ha ha.

Jaxon seems to be teething early. He gnaws on his hand ALOT and gets fussy and loves to chew on my fingers! I've tried to feed him cereal with a spoon but he pushes it all out with tongue or gets choked on it.

Jaxon has bad reflux. They also think he has laryngomalacia. I'll discuss at later date more!

Gavin is growing into such a sweet young man!! He knows his yes ma'am, no ma'am, sorry, yes sir, no sir, thank you's real well. He has normal tantrums too like any kid. Some important things about Gavin right now:
* loves his Mickey mouse and puppy blanket still
* he loves fish sticks, chicken, spagetti, macaroni and cheese, chips, peanut butter and fluff sandwiches, French fries, pizza, instant breakfast w muffins, donut holes, ketchup, Salisbury steaks(snake) lots of things!!
* he LOVES watching movies, especially on his lil DVD player that he calls dbd player :-).
* he loves cars movie and toy story and shrek the most.
* he has slept in his own big full size bed for like 2 yrs now.
* he is not really afraid of anything in particular
* he loves gum and cupcakes and ice cream.
* he loves to have mommy read him stories and loves for mommy to sing him songs
* he can kind of sing itsy bitsy spider, wheels on the bus, 5 little monkeys, and you are my sunshine.
* his best friend at school is still Hunter, since infant class! He also says Layla is his girlfriend.
* he is having a Very hard time potty training. :-(
* he loves helping in the kitchen w cooking or dishes

I'm sure I'll think of more later......

Church.

2010-09-26T14:21:00.001-05:00

Hi God. It's been great feeling you around lately.

Today I went to church with Michelle K. We are both trying to straighten our walk right now and it's awesome to share that with each other! I'm in love with alot of Matthew West songs! I love Something to Say and To Me alot!! I may have walked in the wrong direction for almost a decade now, but God forgives me, so I have to let the guilt go.

I pray everyday that God will shine through me onto Chris. So he can see and believe what he sees.

I want my boys to grow up loving God and knowing no matter what he us there for them just like I am.

Today's sermon was about clearing our innate conscience. If God has been asked to forgive our sins, then he has done his part, now we have to let it go and move forward.

Saturday Night

2010-09-25T19:19:00.001-05:00

Went to eat yummy dinner at Applebees with my dad and sister. Then we hit Orange Leaf for delicious frozen yogurt! Gavin really enjoyed it! Then we came home to play in the yard for a little bit. I love when the weather starts to slowly cool off! Niiiiiice! Now inside to watch a movie together. Love my family time.

Nasty Boys!

2010-09-25T13:26:00.001-05:00

Gavin did the most disgusting thing ever this morning!!

I thought he was being a sweet boy, laying on the couch watching his movie, letting mommy sleep in a few minutes. So I woke up at 8:45, went in the lving room and he was sitting on couch snuggled up watching his movie! I knew he would have pooped in his pullup but I was still willing to do that for a little extra sleep! I laid him down to change him and there was poop down his legs. Gross. Put him through shower and then relaxed for a couple hrs.

THEN he came over to me and shoved his new pointer finger toy thing in my face and said "ewww smells like poopy". Sure enough it was covered in poop. I said WHY is it covered in poop. He said "I painted!!!" ohmygosh!! I said "what?!" he said "my cars!" i said "show me right now!" and he took me to dining room and showed me how he had painted poop all over his little tykes ride on car!!! Gross!!! So I went to wash it and wand in the tub and he came up to me. I said is there anymore poop you'd like to show me "yes" where? "table" sooo he took me to show me how he painted the legs and underside of the kitchen table!!!

Absolutely nasty!!

I had to shower myself after!!

New Leaf

2010-09-25T10:08:00.001-05:00

It's been a really really long time since I blogged. I used to love it. I'm gonna try to start up again with this handy dandy blog app on my phone!

I'm not about to try to catch up on years worth of stuff so I'll just give some big highlights so future blogs will make sense!

Gavin just turned 3 yrs old this month! He is so big and sweet! He is very funny! We are very stubbornly working on potty training still. VERY difficult with him.

In June I gave birth to my second son, Jaxon Chandler. He spent the first two HORRIBLE weeks of his life in NICU for breathing problems. He came home for the first time on June 30. He is surprisingly the happiest baby EVER. Laughs all the time.

Chris, my husband, left and spent my whole pregnancy gone. We were going to truly get a divorce. Until the day jaxon was born. It changed everything. Now we are together since that day and working through our problems. Just yesterday I finally came to the decision to truly forgive him for so much and to really give our marriage this one last chance.

Gavin is Growing.

2009-03-15T20:11:00.003-05:00

He is growing so fast!

Words he can say:
- Baby
- Bye Bye
- Night Night (niiii niiiii)
- Car (caaaaa)
- Ball (baaaaa)
- teee teee (when the dog needs to go out!)
- Dada (all the damn time)
- Momma (sometimes)

He never says anything on a regular basis, just occassionally.

He also knows where his belly button is and tells/shows everyone when asked :).

Tonight I discovered that he also knows where his nose is!!! I said "where is your belly button, and he lifted his shirt and pointed to it, then I said "where is your nose?" and he pointed to it!!!! He is soooo smart! heheheheheh

He is staying up a little later too!

He gets in trouble at school for hitting. He rolls his eyes too, very very deliberately!

Being a mom is so awesome, hard and exciting all at the same time! The only real hard parts are wanting to sleep in sometimes when I can't because he wants to wake up earlY! And temper tantrums for no reason whatsoever!! Plus the constant fear of him hurting himself, choking, falling, etc!

Jeeeeeez!

2009-03-09T20:30:00.002-05:00

Why can't I blog as much as I used to? Why don't I just MAKE the time? Why doesn't what I write sound as good as it used to?? WHatever....here goes another blog. Just cause.

Let's see.....since my last blog, alot of nothing has happened really. LOL. No, really life is busy, but nothing major! Mostly my time is spent working all day and then spending all evening with my son and my hubby. Gavin does such cute things! He loves to dance! He likes any type of music, even the general hospital theme song! He dances to anything with any kinda beat. He is getting more cuddly, which I LOVE. He is getting more little boy like, and less baby like everyday! He has the most precious giggle ever and he is super ticklish! He still loves bath time! His favorite foods are peaches, mandarin oranges, cheesy hotdogs, chicken, corny dogs, cinnamon toast waffles, and blueberries! He also loves anything that me or daddy is eating! LOL. He has stopped liking to eat breakfast, but he loves to drink carnation instant breakfast so that's the only way he gets his morning nutrition! He is acting better at school lately. He gets injured alot there though. lol they say it's how toddlers are. He is also now tall enough to run smack into the tailgate. LOL. Poor guy has done it twice now. He loves DIRT and outside very very much! He climbs the stairs to bed at night. He loves his puppy blanket even more these days. He also loves his dancing singing rockin' dog. He loves to ride his horsey and play his MP3 player with his headphones on. He hasn't gotten anymore new teeth lately. He loves his real life doggy, Maggie very much, he pets her so soft and gentle until he gets excited and then he practically choke hugs her, but she doesn't mind or react badly. She just sits there and accepts that he is a toddler and doesn't know better. She loves her human LOL. Gavin loves LENKA. LOL. And PINK! Such a smart boy! He still isn't really talking but he is babbling more. SOMETIMES he will say "bye bye", "Nigh Nigh", or "teee teee", and I've heard that he can say "ball" but I've never heard it. THe others he says when and if he wants to, not that often. :(. I'm sure on his 18 month appt next week they will consider sending him to Speech Therapist but I just don't know. Lots of people tell me it's normal and not to worry, but I still do. Oh and he also likes kisses and hugs alot!!!

Work is great. Busy but great. Lots of things to do to get us big and productive as quick as possible. I can't wait to hire more staff so I won't have like 10 jobs to do myself!!

This weekend me, michelle, amanda, kristi and angela went to Bossier City. It was SUPER fun. We stayed friday night at a hotel and we gambled and drank and were merry! LOL It was a blast. I'll post pics soon, but I already did put them on my facebook page. We also got a bunch of Mchelle's baby shower planned, now I gotta get busy with the games and favors!!

We got a new bigger flat screen TV which I love! And a new entertainment center to put it on! Plus we got our new king size mattress and it is sooooo big and soft! We have SO much more room though we still both sleep in the same spot LOL. And we have this new loveseat with dual recliners in it that I can't wait to get in! It's great cause it has a center console thing to hold the remotes so Gavin won't destroy them!! Heheheheh

I had so much more to write but my mind is drawing a blank......Chris says it's time for bed...LOL So Goodnight!

....Wow.

2009-02-28T19:46:00.002-06:00

I can't believe it's going to be March tomorrow! This year is flying by! Actually the older I get, the quicker time flies by! And the horrible thing is I'm just 28! I'm trying to enjoy more in life instead of worrying so much or just planning future things.

I need to scrapbook again. I've only done one page since August!!!! It disgusts me. Especially knowing how much money I've spent on scrapbook stuff. And it's sitting in the room. Growing dust. I've just been so super busy the last few months. But hopefully things will calm down enough to give me time to do it again. I miss it greatly. It's my stress reliever! The only creative things I've done since August were all my Stampin' Up classes and stuff. Better little than none.

This week was super busy so I was glad for it to end! Just sooooo much work to do and I still have this horrible cough and just get tired easy. Flu lasts forever. :(. Last night was mine and Michelle's Friday night "date" night lol. We went to eat at Julians which we loooooove, then we went to see Confessions of a Shopaholic. It was a great chic movie! I wish we had more time together :(. We had a little bit of a talk waiting for the movie about things going on recently, and she totally reassured me that we are best friends like no other! lol. She gets my point of view on things I think, and that's a start!

Today I got to spend some time with Michelle again! We went glasses shopping together, then I went to lunch with her and her family. Her mom and dad always make me feel like family too! They even insist on buying my lunch usually! They are great parents that she has! Then we went to Michelle's 4D ultrasound! WHat little we could see of Victoria she is sooooo adorable! She has an adorable nose! But she was hiding behind the placenta so she is having a redo in a few days! Can't wait to see more! Today I spent most of my tax return! lol. I got an eye exam, new glasses, new sunglasses too. We also bought a new mattress set and loveseat that has recliners on both sides with a center console thingy in it. LOVE IT! Sucks but the mattress will be delivered thursday, an the loveseat was back ordered so it won't be in until probably the 11th. We also went and bought a big ol' 40" flat screen TV since ours has bad sound that's going out now. Tomorrow we will get an entertainment center and set it up! We also realllllly need to get groceries!

I can't wait till this coming friday night! We are going to Bossier City! Michelle wanted a girls night and sooooo that's what we are doing! Amanda and her bff Angela are going too! I can't wait. For one night, it will be super nice!

Gavin is adorable lately! He says "BYE" and is so cute when he does! He also blows kisses! hehehe cute boy!

R E C O V E R Y

2009-02-23T12:52:00.003-06:00

I'm trying hard to recover. I'm back to work today and worn out already! The drive makes me sleepier, and I'm pretty much stuck in my chair. I was supposed to join my boss at this bbq in Mt. Enterprise for the doctors out there but I am too dizzy to drive the extra way. It's gonna be hard enough in like 2 hours when I have to figure out how to leave and go see a patient. But that's a must. Her BP is up. Anyhooow, I'm just trying to play catchup with everything they left for me while I was gone. Funny thing is, none of them are here. Wesley and Heather are in Mt. Enterprise, and Kelli was seeing patients then going to oral surgeon with her daughter then home to do paperwork. So I'm here. Alone. Have been since 10:45. Hate being alone up here sometimes. Michelle wants us to go for a girls night out in Bossier City the weekend of March 7. I'm not sure yet since I did just spend 9 days without Gavin. Chris will be at farm that weekend so I would have to get my mom to watch Gavin. It would only be one night, but still not sure she'll be ready to do it again yet! LOL

F L U

2009-02-22T12:27:00.002-06:00

I think the flu is purgatory on the way to hell. Since Tuesday evening I started feeling like poo. Wednesday I called in sick and went to urgent care because it was even worse. F L U. Yuck! I knew I shoulda got that damn vaccination! Anyway, I've felt like I was gonna die. I haven't felt that bad in like a decade or longer! I couldn't move, couldn't breath well, coughing up a lung, all my muscles ached so bad, couldn't eat without throwing up, pounding headaches, fever and chills. My boss made me go to work THursday morning. I got there somehow, really not sure how seeing as I'm also dizzy. After almost 2 hours of laying on my desk and everyone griping at him, he let me go home. It's all kinda blurry, can't believe I made it to and from work and lived through it. Anyway the rest of the last few days since Wednesday has been mostly sleeping and sweating out fevers. Coughing so hard my throat is sore and I've even been throwing up blood. I'm just now starting to feel like I might live through it. Worst part of it all is I only saw Gavin twice during this time. Since I was contagious :(. And Chris has the flu too, so Gavin stayed at my mom's. I really really miss him and keep crying about how much I miss him. He is coming home today though! Hopefully we will live thru it!

Las Vegas Baaabbbyyyy!

2009-02-20T20:14:00.011-06:00

Las Vegas was very very fun! It was also very very tiring! I think we walked like 10 miles the first two days! The last two days we walked ALOT less LOL. We tried to see EVERYTHING but didn't quite do it. I can't wait to go back again with my best friend!! We left on Friday and stayed at this really nice hotel in Dallas, the Radisson. It had a sleep number bed LOL and a bar in the lobby! I know, easily pleased. We got up VERY VERY early Saturday morning. 4:45am!! Got to the airport and flew out at 7:15. Chris got very nervous but did very well! You could barely tell he was nervous! We landed at 8:15. We splurged and got a limo from the airport to the hotel! First time I'd ever ridden in one! Couldn't check into hotel yet so we checked our baggage at the bell boys desk and hit the road! We ate breakfast and walked and walked and walked. That first night we went to see the Cirque du Soleil show called Zumanity. It's the "Sensual" side of cirque du soleil. It was GREAT!!! We got the tickets free but I sooooo would have paid to see that. It's amazing. Couldn't take pictures though :(. One of my fave things we did was horse race betting! I won a couple times by picking the underdog horse that stood no chance and I bet $2 for that horse to win !! And guess what?! TWICE the underdog I chose won!! Once I got $68 dollars! And the next one I got $54! It was sooooo fuN! We also saw a topless vampire show called Bite. LOL It was cool, but way over rehearsed. Me and Chris also got tickets to walk through the Bodies exhibit. It was real human bodies cut up to show all the body systems, organs, etc. It was over priced but fun! Here are a bunch of pictures!

This is under the awning when you pull up at the Encore Hotel. VERY Nice hotel. It's in my top 3 choices for next time!!! There are butterflys everywhere! and RED!!!!

FOr more pictures visit my facebook page!

I suck!

2009-02-13T08:32:00.003-06:00

I have been really really busy! That's my only excuse for not posting in like 2 weeks!! Last weeekend was fun! Me and Michelle went to Outback and shopping friday night which was fun and heartbreaking at the same time ! LOL. Spent lots of money. I had found THE cute dress for Vegas. But when I got home Chris didn't like it!! It was a $110 dress that I got for like $30 and he didn't like it! Grrrr. Soooo Saturday me and my mom shopped for over 4 hours!! It was fun and I got LOTS of things on serious sales! Now I'm trying to pack it all and I'm having a hard time getting it all to fit in my suitcase! lol. ANyway.....we are leaving today to drive to Dallas to stay the night. Then BRIGHT and early we are flying to Vegas!! I'm not taking my computer so the only info you'll get is on my facebook or text messages!!! :). We won't land back in Dallas tuesday night until 10:55 pm ! So You won't hear from me again until like Wednesday! I'm soooo excited I've never been anywhere like that! My tax return which was my spending money for the trip did not deposit today as expected! I was having a heart attack! But my ultra nice boss just transferred me $1000 from his acct to mine! :). Vegas here we come!!!

Sunday Drive

2009-02-08T19:16:00.000-06:00

The boys are soooo cute together. Gavin has gotten to where he LOVES holding Ethan's hand! So in the car if Gavin is upset Ethan reaches over and holds his hand and he calms right down. It's sooo adorable. Gavin really looks up to his big brother and thinks he is amazing!

This is just silly cute! LOL. We got this sink plunger and all thru walmart Chris was making it suction to his belly and to Gavin's. So when we got home Gav kept wanting it to suck to his belly. LOL Weirdo's.

30 Things

2009-01-31T20:25:00.003-06:00

I saw this on a blog and thought I'd do it for fun!

30 things about me

I/I'm...

P - Pretty Laid back
A - Animal lover
T - Text messaging fanatic!
R - Random is usually how I blog!
I - Introverted ! Majorly!
C - Compassionate when it comes to my patients
I - Intuitition helps me tell if I will like someone almost immediately. except guys of course LOL
A - a lover of music

M- Michelle Kincaide's best friend
I - in love with my husband
C- creating with paper is one of my favorite things to do
H-Happy to be a mommy to Gavin
E -Ethan's step mom!
L - Love reading books
L - Love the color RED!
E - extremely jealous person usually

C-called FREAKY by some of my best friends.
O-Overweight and I hate it, more than I ever have been by FAR!
O- One dedicated Director of Nurses at work
N-nurse, since 2001.
E- extremely addicted to the internet and my blackberry!
Y- yes, I'll admit it, I'm boring!

I've been tagged!

2009-01-29T15:23:00.003-06:00

Haven't been tagged in awhile so thought I'd do it!The Rules:1. Go to your Picture Folder on your computer or wherever you store your pictures.2. Go to the 6th Folder, then pick the 6th picture in that folder.3. Post that picture on your blog and the story that goes along with the picture.4. Tag 6 other people that you know or don’t know to do the same thing and leave a comment on their blog or an e-mail letting them know you chose them. So here is my picture:

This picture was in June 2008. Gavin loves looking out he front door!!

Okay, I am going to tag:

1. http://momma2garrett.blogspot.com/

2. http://dianamartin63.blogspot.com/

3. http://fromtherosecity.blogspot.com/

4. http://hellocupcake7.blogspot.com/

5. http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=31085183

6. http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=61384764

Life is GOOOOOOOD.

2009-01-24T09:39:00.010-06:00

Isn't it great when all the pieces fall into place in life? Let's start with work. I was very fortunate when this job fell into my lap. It was a big leap going from somewhere I was comfortable and knew people and it was an established company. I felt some kind of pull to come to this brand new company who had not even gotten licensed, certified, or accredited yet. For those who don't know anything about home healthcare, when you apply for a license now you have to not only pass Medicare survey but you have to get nationally accredited. We chose to go through Joint Commission. It's a long drawn out ordeal to go through. LOTS of studying. Well our surveyor came last week and we passed with flying colors!! They said things like "as near perfect as we've seen", "excellent", "very impressed with the staff, and the hard work your DON has done." And I'm the DON! HA! Awesome! She told my boss that he's very lucky to have me! Soooo we are super happy around here right now. I've got lots of money spending to do up here now! HEHE. Gonna be real busy around here for awhile. Marketing, getting new computer systems, training on computer systems, and hiring several new people.

Second of all, I've got great family and great friends! I've got the best friend I could ever ask for! We are getting to see each other more than we had for awhile there and it's great! Now If I can get her and her husband to go to vegas with us in a couple weeks things will be marvelous!! I need to get back into my scrapbooking again, I feel so much better when I do it often. Overall I've been very happy lately. It's kinda like I found my place in life and I LOVE it.

I've also come to a place in my marriage where I am happy. I feel like all our bad times are finally paying off. I feel like my trust is slowly building back up. We had split up for a few months and we wrote lists of all the things we both wanted from our marriage in order to try to make it work. We both looked over the lists and said YES I CAN do this or NO I CANNOT. Well we both said yes so we planned on him moving back in. He moved back in almost a week later. What not many people know is that in that week alone he broke EVERY SINGLE promise he had made on that list. I found out the day he moved back in that he had been trying to get some girl to the farm to sleep with him 2 days before he came home!!! He had 2 secret email addresses full of messages from multiple girls including all the ones from the last year of our relationship problems and several NEW girls. He had been talking to all of them on THESE accounts and secret myspace page since at least June. The horrible other part is that in June is when we had a long talk with his mom and he admitted a few things but not nearly all of them and promised he was going to stop and not do it. But it was a 100 X's worse from june until he moved back in in October. I mean texting a girl and calling her repeatedly after we made promises to each other and decided to move back in together, trying to hook up with her, is horrible. I cried a whole lot that week. But decided that if he was willing to try then we would. I told him that MY side of the list was out the window until he could earn trust back. I told him that I would be asking ALL the time where he is and what he's doing. That I would be checking phone bill and internet whenever I felt like it. I said if this is NOT OK with you, then do NOT come home. I told him this would for sure happen as long as it took to rebuild my trust. I told him he better give me a damn good reason everyday to stay with him. He promised. And for awhile it was trying. He was try but i was still hurting. Afterawhile, like early december I started really feeling a difference with him. I started thinking farther into our future and planning to be together forever again. I started remembering why i fell in love with him in the first place. I decided that even if we fought every once in awhile that it would still be OK. This weekend was rough for us. I think it's a cummulation of things. I think he is not exactly happy with all the success I'm having at work. We are supposed to go on a trip and it's to celebrate ME for work and Chris won't fly! Because of my colitis and stuff there is NO way I'm staying with strangers so I don't get to go if chris doesn't go. He is very angry this weekend and I'm guessing its a mix of both. Well now I decided fine, I'll drive with Chris there and just leave a day earlier than they fly out. 22 hours straight of driving is going to SUCK SUCK SUCK. But if Michelle and Kris get to go it will be a blast I think! So we had a rough weekend, and I'm going to write this in hopes that he didn't mean half the things he said yesterday. We shall see.

January Trip to the Farm Pictures

2009-01-17T16:02:00.007-06:00

Pictures of this Month

2009-01-17T15:37:00.005-06:00

Public.

2009-01-15T15:26:00.003-06:00

I am actually fairly smart. Or so everyone tells me. So when I post on my blog, guess what? I KNOW it is PUBLIC. I write things knowing that tons of people could and will read it. I post FOR myself, but with the KNOWLEDGE that people will read it. I read blogs too. I use Google Reader and subscribe to almost 200 blogs that I read when updated. It pops up automatically on my iGoogle page. I love that program! It helps me keep up with blogs without having to actually GO OUT AND SEEK the blogs, it comes to ME.

I have also gotten older. Yes, it's true, unfortunately. For some reason with time that happens. Strange. I've also thankfully gotten wiser. For instance, I know when I have a true real friend and when they are just a person who will fade out of my life in time. I know that everyone has those kinds of friends that come and go in life. There are friendships that are specifically there for a part of your life, for a reason. And when that reason is gone, so are they. That's life. I also know that there are certain people lucky enough to find a friend that is theirs for life. That will be there through thick and thin, ups and downs, good times and bad. They love you despite your faults and you love them despite theirs. You tell each other all your secrets and you laugh with each other and you make future lifelong plans with each other. I know people have to learn things the hard way sometimes, but eventually everyone will learn the lessons they are meant to learn. For instance, I've had multiple friends try to warn me on the relationship front about things they had been through, and as stubborn as I am, I never listen. Until it happens to me. THEN I'm like...OOOOH You were right! So knowing this, I try to let others see for themselves the things they need to see. And when someone needs to see someone for the childish bitch they are, they will eventually act like a childish bitch in front of that person and they will say... OOOOOH You were right, NOW I remember. I don't push people to see these things, they will see things in their own time.

The older I get I also realize the important things in life. My son. My Husband. My best Friend. My family. Some people don't put their children first, or their husband, or their friends, or even their family. They do whatever they want avoiding all responsibilities in life and neglecting things they should put their EVERYTHING into. Some people go around miserable(even if it is just on the inside)and hating life, and they try to take down everyone else in the world they get near. These are TOXIC people. They suck the life out of the people around them, they are selfish, and they don't give a damn about anyone but themselves, they use you when they need you and they come and go as they feel the need to pull you down with their hate for their job, their life, their family, EVERYTHING. I have had friends like this, so I know. I have purged this kind of people from my life. I'm in a good good place now. I'm happy with work. family. my son. my husband. my friendships. everything is good. And this is how I will continue. The people who know me really know me and know BS when they see it. That's all that matters to me.

Life. Thursdays.

2009-01-15T08:36:00.002-06:00

Life is good. Real good.

I've got tons of pictures to post from this month, I'll have to do that when I'm home.

Me and Michelle went to see Bride Wars yesterday after I closed on my house refinance. It was such a great friendship movie. Me and Michelle decided WE have that kinda friendship! Lifelong. No matter what happens in our lives we are and always will be there for each other. We know each others deep dark secrets, the ones you can't tell anyone else. We want to be little old ladies scrapbooking in the assisted living facility between bingo and jazzercise! Our friendship doesn't come and go at convenient times. It is always there. We make sure no matter how busy life gets we see each other. And text each other everyday! It's not work to hang out together, we see each other on our Friday's, and whenever else we can squeeze it in! I am so glad we came up with our Fridays, it's a way for us to know no matter what we will at least see each other that time every week.

Me and Chris celebrate our first anniversary tomorrow! Amazing how time flies, yet it seems like we have been together forever. No matter what has happened in our relationship, I think it has only made it that much stronger. I know he really loves me with all his heart and I love him the same. I love our little family. Though I wanna make it bigger and he doesn't...lol. I want another baby and he doesn't want anymore children. We have definitely seen tough times, but without all this polish we never would have found the silver lining underneath. Here is to an UNeventful second year of marriage!

Gavin is growing so so fast! He loves his little MP3 player! He still loves his puppy blanket too! He loves pizza, cheese hot dogs, chicken nuggets, corny dogs, corn with spices not plain!, french toast waffles, mandarin oranges, bananas, peaches, carrots, Chris' special man stew (even though it's very spicy!), and loves pudding!

We spent last weekend relaxing at the farm and I'll post lots of pics of that soon. I love our weekends at the farm! Even if it was freezing cold! I love roasting marshmallows! Gavin had a blast too! Maggie LOVES it also! She ran through the woods like a wild animal! hehehe.

I can't wait for our work trip!! Vegas is getting more and more exciting! My boss and the owner are taking me and all our significant others to VEGAS!!! to celebrate passing our joint commission survey, as soon as it happens. I've never been so I'm even MORE excited than everyone else. Chris is scared of flying so I'm still trying to convince him to please go for MY sake and because this is not a chance that comes along everyday! I really really want him there with me to have this grand trip together.

I'm off to work a lil' !!

Copied from Someone's Blog

2009-01-13T18:51:00.003-06:00

I frequent MANY blogs. On one of them, the writer has a post every wednesday called "WORSHIP WEDNESDAY". I will confess for awhile I just skipped over it if it was wednesday, but this week I read it. This is an EXACT COPY OF HER BLOG POST and a link to her blog. I'm changing not only the outside of my body this year, but the inside too.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Song Title: “Our Hope Endures”
The story behind why I like this song:
Continuing with the theme of hope…

Why do I like this song? Well, let me put it like this… You know how sometimes I like to bold the specific lines that speak to me in a special way? Yeah, well I could pretty much bold this entire song. It’s no secret… life is not easy or fair. We’ve all had our share (or perhaps more than our share!) of trials and hardships. But it’s okay. God has not promised that things will be easy. But he does promise he’ll be there. That hope endures through whatever we’re going through.

Take a look at these beautiful lyrics…Lyrics:
You would think only so much can go wrong.
Calamity only strikes once.
And you assume this one has suffered her share.
Life will be kinder from here.

Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years,
Sometimes the sky rains night after night.
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions.
It’s more than our optimism.
Let the earth quake,
Our Hope is unchanged.

How do we comprehend peace within pain?
Or joy at a good man’s wake?
Walk a mile with the woman whose body is racked
With illness, oh how can she laugh?

Oh, ’cause sometimes the sun stays hidden for years,
Sometimes the sky rains night after night.
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions.
It’s more than our optimism.
Let the earth quake,Our Hope is unchanged.

Emmanuel, God is with us,
El Shaddai, all sufficient.
We never walk alone,
And this is our hope.

Our Hope endures the worst of conditions.
It’s more than our optimism.
Let the earth quake,Our Hope is unchanged.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.handlelifewithcare.com/?p=981

Up until now......

2009-01-13T18:10:00.002-06:00

I saw this on a girls blog and thought it would be cool to do! All of the BOLD ones I've done in my 28 years of life! :) You should all do it to and let me know so I can look!!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked (no but once a few of us picked UP a hitch hiker!)
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (whoops...)
24. Built a snow fort (there is no snow in TX!!)
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run (LMAO, no)
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (satisfied yes, want more? doesn't everyone?)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted (drawn, but not painted)
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie (home movie! LOL)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business (almost!!!)
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check (overdraft protected though!)
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt ( so it was only like 3 foot square LOL)
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job (yup but I was gonna quit anyway LOL)
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone (my upper jaw bone under my lip!)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car (3 of them!)
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life (i'm a nurse so I've probably helped several times!!)
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous (ummmm Tad from All My Children!!)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

January is flying by.....

2009-01-13T13:30:00.002-06:00

Wow, I'm already sucking at one of my new years resolutions! Keeping up with my blog! I always mean to, but I seldom remember when I'm actual BY the computer to do it! However some of my other resolutions have actually been going well! I've been working out on my orbitrek or going for a walk EVERYDAY! I think since a few days before new years I've only missed 2 days!! I'm also eating much better. Not perfect yet, but better. I've been surfing many scrappy blogs getting inspiration, now I just have to APPLY IT! I'm closing on my house refi tomorrow, so I'm glad that's done and over with. I was told I can buy another house for twice as much as this house in addition to the one I have now! I plan to buy another one as soon as I save some money for down payment, and rent this house out. Won't be overnight, but I'll start the process! We are STILL waiting on joint commission surveyors to come certify our agency. Feels like the longest 6 months ever! Everything is squeaky clean and perfect around here and in my charts, now they just need to get here!! I still LOVE my job! :) I work with great people who actually respect me and care about me as a nurse and as a person. The owner is taking him, his girlfriend, my boss and his wife, and me and my husband on a paid for trip when we pass!! I'm soooo excited. They were kinda thinking mexico or florida keys, but I'm really wanting VEGAS! He said since I am the one passing this for us I get to pick!! And Vegas is the one I will be LEAST LIKELY to have to wear a bathing suit! LOL. ANyway I'm just excited for a paid for vacation!

Happy blogging!!

Some nice blog candy.....

2009-01-05T19:54:00.001-06:00

Go here!!! :)
http://papercraftsbyrach.blogspot.com/2009/01/new-year-blog-candy.html

New Year's Resolutions?

2008-12-31T16:22:00.002-06:00

I've got several sorta resolutions this year!

1. Learn to cook more !! (I bought me a pretty apron and everything! LOL)
2. Make a quilt for my bed !!
3. Lose the weight I gained this year.
4. More importantly, get my cholesterol lowered and eat BETTER !
5. Spend less money? LOL
6. Scrapbook MORE!

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!

Christmas Pictures 2008.

2008-12-26T12:47:00.011-06:00

We spent Christmas Eve at my Moms. I'm still waiting on the pictures she took but here are a few from me to tide ya over! :).

This is Gavin's new electric 4 wheeler. He freakin' loves it! I can't believe he figured out right away how to push the button to go!

December 2008

2008-12-25T09:36:00.010-06:00

Wow I can't believe it's been so long since I posted!!! Sorry! I've just been super busy this month! My best friend Michelle is having a girl!! I felt so special because only me and Amanda knew what she was having at first!!! :) But then Garrett blew the cover so she told everyone else. lol. Kids! I'm sooooo excited I've got bunches of pictures from this month to post. Gavin loves christmas :). He loves his big snow globe, his stuffed snow men and reindeer, the tree, and the lights!

He has changed a ton this month. He is still not talking but he has more pronounced sounds like he is trying. He does say dada and mamma sometimes. He has said Byeeee like two times. And he has asked maggie if she needs to "teeeteee" once! lol. He is trying! He also LOVES music and dancing! He can bust a move at the sound of a commercial lol. He is in an adorable stage. He already had 7 teeth and now he has two more molars trying to pop through. He is very clumsy! Loves his rocking horse and LOVES pushing buttons!!!!

After several "christmas'" with families we have LOADS of stuff !!

More pictures to come from christmas eve and christmas day!! :)

Just a November Weekend

2008-11-24T13:23:00.003-06:00

This weekend was busy! Started out running.....home to meet appraiser , then over to Wal-Mart then home to get stuff ready for the weekend. Then saturday made fruit salad and went to Stampin' Up saturday morning club. Love that group! Gonna miss it in december!! Then off to lunch at my mom's and then to see Twilight! Then home to bake some brownies! Saturday night Michelle, Kris and Garrett came to hang out with us. We played Taboo, which is soooo fun! Sunday my dad, sister and mother in law all came over for Thanksgiving dinner. It was delicious! My boss had fried me a turkey and my dad had smoked a big 15 lb steak! It was great. We have left overs!! Last night I put up all the christmas decorations. Gavin loved the tree! He just looked at it and smiled! And stood next to it lol.

Twilight was a good movie. Not great, but good. I guess it would have been better if I hadn't read the book! I just hate when they change things up in the movie from the book. Like Charlie should have been older. Jacob was not as hot as he was in the book LOL. Edward was way too shy and insecure acting in the movie compared to his confident eloquently speaking self in the book. The school wasn't 2 stories in my mind LOL. And her friends looked different than I would have pictured. Rosalie was different than I woulda thought. Carlisle was different too! And certain scenes were completely different than in the book. Oh well. It was good, just different.

Pneumonia

2008-11-20T19:09:00.008-06:00

Poor Gavin was so sick from Thursday the 6th till Thursday the 13th! Then He went back to school. He had tons of breathing treatments. Doesn't he look so sad sick?! And he lost a whole pound at least while he was sick but then gained it back and then someone in this last week!!

He finally loves his horse! He will try to ride it and bounce up and down but we really have to hide our hand and rock it. :D Totally cute. This last two weeks he also learned to dance!! TOTALLY AWESOME!! AND he kinda sorta found the first movie he likes to watch! It's a Little Tykes movie. He will watch it much more than anything else. But other than that he doesn't really watch any TV, other than the like 30 minutes in the morning while he eats breakfast and chills. He also looks so cute and gettin' so much older looking! He is really bad about trying to go up the stairs on his own. When he wants to go to bed he grabs his puppy and heads for the stairs. :)

I was loading the dishwasher one day and he walked away and got the glass that was sitting on the coffee table and brought it to put in the dishwasher!!! Soooo smart. He still won't really say any words though. He kinda sorta says 'teetee' when we ask the dog Maggie if she needs to go outside to 'teetee'. So he kinda tries to copy it, but not real clear. He is really loving his little handihauler thingy. It's like a little tykes car with a handle on it. He lugs it around everywhere! I've been in such a mood to scrapbook lately but haven't had time!

I'm in the process of trying to refi my house and have to have an appraisal on it tomorrow. It was supposed to be on Monday so last weekend we all turbo cleaned the house just to have them not come! But the house sure did sparkle!! We even washed the damn walls and steamed the carpet with a little hand steamer! Looks great though.

This weekend we are going to see Twilight!! I'm soooooooo excited!! I've read the first two and a half books out of four! Much better than I thought they would be. Me and Michelle are also going to The Stamp Shack Saturday for our Saturday Morning club. I've gotta go shopping to make some stuff cause I'm one of the hostesses this time. Fun! Anywhooooo sorry for such a long post but had to catch up!!!

ThankFul

2008-11-20T13:40:00.004-06:00

I'm thankful for many things. Here are just a random bunch of things I'm thankful for!

- Hot Chocolate with Whipped Cream while snuggling up cozy on the couch with a good book!
- Working for such a great bunch of people. Very caring and GOOD people. Who actually believe in me and think I'm awesome!
- The best friend in the world any one could ask for, who understands that I am just as selfish/moody/needy as she is!
- The best son in the world who does the most adorable funny things
- Being able to actually see and hear things. Though my sight is going fast!
- All things crafty! Stamps, Ink, Stickles, Zip Dry, Patterned Paper, flowers, and I you!
- A big cool glass of sweet tea!
- The Snowflake bakery I found here in the town I work in. Great food!!
- The nurse I hired who loves to bake!! She makes the BEST pecan pie in the world!
- Great books! I love the Twilight Series right now!
- Tivo/DVR! I would not be so happy in life without it! I'd never see General Hospital again!!!
- A husband who is so great with our son and lets me be a big goofball with all my many flaws!
- Great songs on the radio! I love my drive time to and from work listening to the radio. It's my quiet time to just chill!
- My mom who does more than she should have to for me. I guess I'm a little spoiled! But hey! I'm gonna have to change her diaper when she's OLD so whatever! :)
- My online scrappy friends! Such great inspiration I get from them and all the blogs I frequent.
- Google Reader! OMG! How did I ever live without it!
- Jello Banana Hot Fudge Pudding with Cool Whip! Delicious and sugar free and almost no calories!!
- Pixie Sticks! My energy booster!
- Maggie - the best dog ever!

Since it's almost thanksgiving I'm sure I'll come up with more before then! Stay tuned....!!

Disconnected.

2008-11-08T12:23:00.003-06:00

I don't know if it's just because I've been sick or because Gavin is sick, but I feel so disconnected from life this week. I feel like everything is fading away and leaving me behind. Like people like me less or don't see or care about me. I've been feeling sick for like 2 weeks but it got MUCH worse the last couple days. Then throw in Gavin being sick and fussy and Chris being sick you get the makings of a not so great week. I hate missing work too. I have a million things to do and feel so left out when I'm gone. Plus Friday they had a chili cookoff that I missed at the nursing home :(. Throw in the fact that I barely get to see my best friend now and life sucks. AND her little boy got pneumonia the same day Gavin did! But he was in the hospital for 2 days and I didn't even get to see him. I bet Michelle understands because she knows that Gavin and me and Chris are just as sick, but it doesn't make up for the fact that I hurt that I couldn't go up there. That all her other friends went there but not me. Left out again. I hate feeling disconnected and out of the loop. And I'm stressed out because we really think Joint Commission will be here this week and I'm sooooo nervous and have a million things to do but feel so weak and run down it's hard to do them!

Our Life this week.

2008-11-06T19:19:00.009-06:00

First of all , Voted for the first time! Me and Chris went to vote. We zeroed each other out because we voted differently, but we still voted! All the local races I voted for the person I voted for won!! I guess we will see if this president of ours can actually pull dreams and high hopes out of his ass. We shall see if money DOES start growing on trees for once! Don't get me wrong I am all for dreaming and having hope. I agree with alot of his IDEAS. Just do not think that any of them will come into fruition any time in our lifetimes.

I'm loving these low gas prices!!! I know it won't last long, but it sure is some relief while it IS here.

I think out Joint Commission surveyors will be here next week so we are super stressed out this week trying to perfect everything!!

I have not been feeling good this week and it's just getting worse! I've had a fever off and on. Chills. Sore throat every day. Weak all over. Just exhausted too.

Today Gavin got sicker. He has had a cough for a couple weeks but it just got worse so I took him to Doctor today. He has pneumonia and double ear infections!! That is horrible!! He is miserable! Lots of antibiotics and breathing treatments. He is feverish and cranky! Almost had to go to the hospital cause his respirations were at 46 and oxygen level at 92% !! Now he is sleeping in his amazon jungle room with the humidifier flowing high!

San Antonio Trip

2008-10-27T19:04:00.014-05:00

Me, Chris, Michelle and Kris went to San Antonio for the weekend for Stampin' Up Regionals! It was super fun! We took separate cars because Michelle and Kris were going to stay later and meet up with someone Kris went to school with after we left Sunday. 6 Hour drive each way and both times me and Chris left the radio OFF the whole time and talked and just relaxed in the silence of the road! We stayed at the Crowne Plaza Hotel on the riverwalk. It was nice but not quite as nice as the last hotel me and Michelle got to stay at. The lobby and stuff was super fancy but the room we got wasn't that great I guess. But it could have been MUCH worse. Friday night we went to The Melting Pot. It was an awesome fondue restaurant that I've aways wanted to go to. It was very good, but cost $115 for two people!! CRAZY! SO next year when we go to regionals we will go there again but only for the cheese and chocolate and skip the main course. Which we will get at Taco Bell!!! LOL! Saturday me and Michelle spent the day at Regionals. We learned TONS and had lots of fun. LOTS of pictures of cards and projects to lift! The guys walked four miles for no reason while we were gone! They went to a brewery without calling first and when they walked 2 miles to get there they found out it was closed down, so had to walk 2 miles back! LOL. They weren't feeling well already so after that they were exhausted and stayed in the hotel the rest of the day!! Soooo when Michelle and I got back we took them to dinner. It was a fun time trying to find the place Chris wanted to eat but we finally found it! Durty Nelly's Pub! It was fun, food was ok. Didn't get to stay long cause Chris wasn't feeling good. Sunday we did a little shopping and then me and Chris headed home! Maggie got to stay in a doggy hotel all weekend LOL. :) We missed Gavin AND Maggie! Here are a few of the pictures from our trip!

Pumpkin Carving.

2008-10-22T20:21:00.006-05:00

We carved the pumpkins we got at the pumpkin patch! I had never carved one before. At least not that I can remember. It was fun and messy! We saved ourselves from TOO much mess though and did it while Gavin was sleeping!

This is Gavin picking out his own dinner. :)

AND Gavin has been throwing little tantrums! For no reason what so ever usually. He will just throw him self on the floor and thrash around like he is being tortured. He does this when he doesn't get his way, when I walk out of the room, when he is ready to leave but we aren't yet, when he is too tired, lots of times! Here are a few images of one from one morning this week because he was ready to go to school but we weren't yet!

Pumpkin Patch 2008 - 10-18-08

2008-10-19T17:05:00.010-05:00

We went to the Pumpkin Patch at the Bell Family Farm. It was our first time and super fun, we will definitely be making this a yearly tradition! They have a pumpkin patch, hay ride to the patch, tractor pulled train ride thingy, seesaw, merry go round, playground, tire swings, mountains of hay to climb on, lots of picture opportunity spots, a pond with catfish you can feed, wagons, face painting, etc. It's ALL free except the pumpkin you buy if you buy one, and face painting costs some. We took the boys with Gavin in his halloween pirate costume!!! Here are tons of pictures (but not near all the ones I took! LOL)

Ethan's 8th Birthday

2008-10-19T09:11:00.010-05:00

We had some family and friends over for Ethan's 8th birthday. Got us some cake and let the fun begin! Here are a few pictures (heheheh).

Recently....

2008-10-16T18:21:00.008-05:00

Here are some random pictures of our last two weeks of simple life.....busy life.....OUR life.

Gavins New PJ's from Nana. He FREAKED OUT about the sleeves. He couldn't figure out what in the world they were and kept trying to pull them off.

And of course our sweet Maggie.

Catching Up...

2008-10-13T09:07:00.002-05:00

Gavin is going to be a little pirate for halloween. It's totally adorable on him!! He won't wear the hat but he WILL wear the bandana! I'll be sure to take lots of pics!

Work is super busy. I still love it though. I think this is really where I'm supposed to be.

We are thinking of moving somewhere closer to Henderson, but maybe not all the way to Henderson. Just to keep the driving down a little. But I'm not being negative or anything, but since you never know what will happen, I know that if I didn't have THIS job I would not want to work in Henderson, so I'd be driving back to Tyler for work. So better to just plan ahead and get a home in the middle. Chris seems really excited about finding a new house. He is lookin' more than me! lol. We shall see what comes up.

Got all my christmas cards done and need to take pics to post!! I've got my next Stampin' Up Club swaps done and I'm like 1/4th of the way done with my san antonio regionals swaps (40!!!!).

That and circle journals is all the scrappin' I've gotten done in the last few weeks! But at least it's something creative!!!

I seriously need to take lots more pictures. I've seriously been slacking in this area!! I guess it's because I really really want a new camera!!!

The ONE scrapbook layout I did in September.

2008-10-05T17:33:00.002-05:00

I suck. I lost my mojo and then I lost time! LOL. Now I want to scrap I just can't manage to have time that I'm not too tired to scrap. Life is super busy!!

Time Flies....

2008-09-30T11:38:00.006-05:00

I can't believe it's already about to be October! That's crazy! I need to get Gavin a halloween costume before all the cute ones are taken.

Chris moved back in this weekend. We both wrote out lists of what we wanted from the other and had lots of talks about it and decided we both want to make this work. We both love each other and when we are good we are REAL good.

This weekend was super busy. First friday me and my boss drove down to Houston in the morning and came home late that night. So my mom kept Gavin thursday and friday night. I thought I'd sleep in saturday but NO I was too used to getting up with Gav so I woke up early anyway. Saturday morning went to Stampin' Up Saturday Morning Club with Michelle at the Stamp Shack. It was fun. I always love going up there!! Then it was off to lunch with my dad and my sister at Olive Garden. YUM! Then home for a few hours and Michelle came over to scrapbook/hangout/talk. Love when we both have time to hang out together! I wish we had tons more!! Then after Michelle left, me and Gavin loaded up and went to the farm for the rest of the weekend. It was great! Chris got us a hammock to relax on. LOVE IT! And we rode the four wheeler several times. Gavin loves it! And Chris had built a tree house. And it is HIGH up there. And I was scared to death but we all climbed up in it. :) He did a great job on it. Feels very sturdy! Then Sunday we loaded up Chris' stuff and went back home. Whew. I'm tired just writing it all out! lol

Now I'm into day 2 of another week. Work is great these days. Just super busy! I wish I had more time in the day thats for sure!! I would write more, I'd scrapbook more, I'd stamp more, I'd have my christmas cards nearly done and my swap cards done, and make good dinners and sleep more!! LOL

Fun Times

2008-09-21T19:20:00.003-05:00

On Thursday me, Michelle and Gavin went to dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings so she could give Gav his birthday present. I miss hanging out with her as much as we did but I think we are doing pretty good with me working so far away. I'm showing her that it IS possible to see each other just as much when I sell my house and move mid way to Henderson. :). It's do-able. Here are some pics from that dinner! :) Gav is so adorable! Getting big fast!

Today we went to the fair with Michelle, Kris, and Garrett. It was really hot but fun anyway. We ate ribbon fries and corn dogs and got caramel apples and dr. pepper!! BAD DAY! LOL I don't ever drink Dr. Peppers! I'm a water or tea only girl!! But I said I was going to give myself ONE weekend to pout and eat whatever I wanted and then after this is our new life. Full of lots of change coming. Me and Gavin rode the ferris wheel with the Kincaides and it was cool. Gav loved it! :). Then for dinner tonight I took Gordon and my Mom out for Gordon's birthday dinner. Here are some fair pics!

Gavin's First Birthday.....

2008-09-17T19:24:00.012-05:00

" Hey Baby...." gavin said to his party guest, Brooklyn.

"Come here and snuggle with me..." (Gav looks HUGE compared to his lil' 6 month old friend.

Whispering some kinda secret to her....

"Shhhhhh Don't tell!"

Chris insisted on taking one of me.

My 1 yr old is so adorable!

Cruising along with his new walker thingy from Grandpa.

"Dad your giving Maggie too much attentioN!"

"ooooh look....a lil' kitty!"

Oooooh and my lil' puppy!!

Gavin Loved his birthday Cupcake experience!!

And the guests eating.....

Such a handsome birthday boy....

Gavin and Aunt Melissa....
Lookin' thru all the photos on the camera!

Gavin and Grandpa

Daddy whispering a secret to Gav

Mommy & Gav

Lots of present Opening

Birthday Hat.....

Gav and Nana

CUPCAKES!!

Scary Weather....

2008-09-12T20:39:00.002-05:00

They say it's going to get really bad here. From Hurricane Ike. They say it should either be a Category 1 or tropical storm even when it hits my area. I'm not so sure about that, but ok. Now I'm scared because the tornado watches are up. And I'm terrified of them!!! How the hell am I going to get me, my 1 yr old son, my two cats, my dog, my scrapbooks, my laptop, everything into the pantry!?! MY ass will barely fit in there! And to make matters worse I'd have to get me and my son downstairs and into the pantry REAL fast and the pets will be going crazy and I'll have to catch them! I think I'm going to get ZERO sleep tonight!! And to think this is going to last for at least like 24 hours....my heart is going to be in my throat the whole time. I wish Chris was here even more now. And it hurts alot that he doesn't care enough to be here even if it's just for this. I put my purse, flashlight, diaper bag, baby food and bottle and pillow and blanket in the pantry already! LOL So when nothing happens and I can't remember where my purse is....please remind me!!

Yeah......

2008-09-12T12:08:00.003-05:00

Frustration is getting worse. HE wants me to find these deep repressed feelings I have and fix them. And he wants to fix things. BUT he won't come home, won't even PLAN a time to come home, won't wear his ring, won't have talks with me, won't see me much, won't go to counselling. Yet he swears he wants to fix things. He wants me to fix me (which apparently he thinks is WAY fucked up) and then we can be together again.

I don't think I have repressed feelings. I think I have things from my past that have completely affected my life that I can't seem to get past. They are not repressed, but they are there and I don't know how to make them go away. It's not like I'm supposed to just forget my life before now. So what in the world does he want me to do? And HE is just as messed up as I am, if not more so. He knows this. If we are not together, how do we know each of us is changing? I know all my issues revolve around trust and not being able to rely on people. So isn't him being gone totally the opposite of helping? I apparently can't rely on him to be here or trust that he has my back. Because he's not even here. I want to fix things. I want to just be together, not necessarily living together next week or anything, but I know we needed this time apart. It helped tremendously. But now it's time to either step up or go on. HE says he wants to work it out, so DO IT. You do NOT get breaks from marriage!

Thursday 13 - 11th Edition

2008-09-10T17:23:00.003-05:00

Thirteen BLOGS I LOVE TO VISIT
1. http://aliedwards.typepad.com
2. http://thisordinaryday.com
3. http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com
4. http://hellocupcake7.blogspot.com
5. http://gettinsketchy.blogspot.com
6. http://cathyzielske.typepad.com
7. http://robynwerlich.typepad.com
8. http://heroarts.com/blogs/club
9. http://donnadowney.typepad.com
10. http://cosmocricket.blogspot.com
11. http://abeautifulmess.typepad.com
12. http://stampingbella.com/blog
13. http://jennibowlin.blogspot.com

Most of them are stampin' or scrappin' blogs!!

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How

2008-09-10T08:22:00.002-05:00

How can you work on trust when you can't depend on someone? If you know that they can just walk out and leave you and then not even come back when they say they wanna work on things? When they won't even act married if they are going to stay gone for a little bit but still wanna work things out? How can you fix a problem of trust when you still can't prove you should be trusted? I really believe that Chris changed a few months ago but I didn't notice. That's a big big step for me. I know I want my husband and I want to fix things. He says he does too. But he won't come home, he won't wear his ring, he won't answer half my texts, he won't go to counseling. He even has to make sure nothing better is coming up before he will agree to come see me. How is that fixing anything? How is that making it work? How is that building trust? I should be able to see him ACTING married even when he is not living with me if we are going to be together. I'm just confused. He acted so wonderful, so sweet, so loving the other night when he came to stay the night. Just like it used to be. It was awesome. I thought yES! this really WILL work! But then he leaves and it's the same. I hurt for my husband. I want him with me. I want to share all the great things going on in my life with HIM. Not just text him and tell him. But he won't give that to me. He won't do anything to build trust or fix things except the space thing. He's good at that. Taking a break from marriage must be nice. Never heard of a successful marriage having "breaks".

Tuesday.....

2008-09-09T18:20:00.002-05:00

Just another day.

Very frustrated.

Happy at work.

Learning alot.

More frustration.

Confusion.

Why like this?

A ring is way more than just a ring.

Patience is not a virtue I was bestowed upon birth.

I'm in a good place finally and wish I actually had the person I love to share it with.

FRUSTRATION.

Monday.

2008-09-08T19:59:00.003-05:00

I have no other nice thoughtful name for this blog. I feel kinda.....down? I don't know how to explain it. You all know I wanna make this work with Chris. He brought it up in the first place and knowing how long and how much I love him you know I had to jump all over the chance. Well I'm kinda going two ways on this. I love him with all my heart and want to be with him. I believe in marriage vows. I believe that when you love someone it should be unconditionally. I think I've proven on my part that I do unconditionally love Chris. After all he has done I still love him. With my whole heart. Yes I realize that us 'jumping' back into things real fast is stupid. ON THE OTHER HAND, Thursday is 3 weeks since he moved out. That's already awhile. He drives an hour and a half to work and drives all day for work then an hour and a half to the farm each night. There is no internet at the farm. No email. No people. Just him and the TV, and now for some reason his phone works there when it never did before. So he has LOTS AND LOTS of time to think. To contemplate what he wants. If he loves me. How much he misses me. How to fix our problems. I have a little boy here and not so long a commute and LOTS of alone time. And I know I've gotten ALOT of thinking done. Maybe it's because I'm a woman?! But last night we were talking. It was actually a very nice talk. And he said 'maybe a couple months' on how long it would take to get back to living together. A COUPLE MONTHS?! Last I checked marriage is supposed to be thru thick and thin good times and bad and all that jazz. Doesn't that mean that just because things get tough doesn't mean you get to move out and act single for months at a time? He is not wearing his wedding ring. And when asked all he will say is "just cause". Well I think that if we are planning on working this out we should still be acting married. Especially when one of our issues is trust. Am i way off? Should this not bthter me? He just keeps saying be patient, go slow. I agree that we need to have alot of talks. We need to figure out what it is that bothers us about each other. We need to take the time to understand why we each feel the way we do. We need to remember what a marriage should be about. We need to put each other above all else. I told him we should make lists. We also need to pick our battles. I want our home to be a safe zone. A place where we can both go and our kids too, that we dont have to worry about being a certain way or walking on egg shells.

OK so I ask Chris last night what he thinks I need to change. All we got thru was that he thinks I need to be more confident. He says he knows I am at work, but in my personal life i let people walk all over me and I don't have any self-confidence. Very true, though I have NO idea what that has to do with our marriage working?! OR how the hell to fix it?! I've been like that my whole life and being as fat as I am now I don't see it changing anytime soon. Though it is in some ways BECAUSE of my new job. For once I feel SOOOO smart and appreciated somewhere. I feel very confident there and I love it. I finally found my place. A place where I can grow more and more. And I actually in over two weeks have made that come into my personal life in alot of ways. I kinda feel like if my new boss knows I'm worth what he's paying me then DAMN! everyone better just watch out! Cause I'm on fire!

He also said he thinks I've got repressed feelings deep down maybe from childhood or something. That that is why I am the way I am. Jealous and untrusting. I think he does actually realize that what he has done has in fact made that WORSE, but nonetheless, it's something I must change. This I am willing to change. I WANT to. The problem is that alot of our problems I do not think can be fixed if we are not together. How am I supposed to learn to trust and know that he is there for me above all else if he is actually NOT there for me above all else?? He thinks if he takes time away from all the temptations and 'civilization' as he said that he will be able to change it for good. Well that is all well and good except when we get back to reality, cell phones and internet and email......will he revert back? I need to know he can actually be here and get irritated with me and still NOT do those things. He used to say sometimes that he did them because he was mad at me that day or something. Well I want to fix our problems. More than anything in the world. I do agree a little time apart has helped us and a little more will do us good. BUT 'months' is not going to do anything in my opinion but show me that I can't depend on my husband to be here for me. I do want SOME time. A couple more weeks probably. We had gotten in such a routine of basically torturing each other that we couldn't get out of it. No matter how many times I wanted to it just kept going down hill everyday.

Now here I am, my heart is aching and excited all at the same time. I'm excited because I love him so much and the idea of working it out makes me so happy and relieved. Yet my heart is aching because he's still not home yet and the idea of months away from my husband makes me physically ill. I don't want to miss his birthday or ethans and I want them HERE. I also ache because he won't wear his ring. What does that mean? That he still doesn't know what he wants? Even though he tells me he does? I just want him to act married even if we aren't living together.

I'm rambling. I'm sorry. F A T mission sucked today. I took one diet pill last night and it made me throw up. I can't even take anything!! I ate ok breakfast - wheat english muffin with peanut butter and milk. BUT horrible lunch - patty melt and a couple fries with sweet tea. AND an even worse dinner - sweet tea, big ol' club sandwich and chicken tortilla soup. I just suck at this diet thing.

HOW do you figure out if you really have repressed memories? I need to dig them out so I can deal with them!

F A T

2008-09-07T17:44:00.002-05:00

It's no secret thatI got fat. LOL Since I gave birth to my son and lost all the weight two weeks later, I've gained it all back. I'm nearly as fat as I was when I GAVE BIRTH!! And since it's no secret I thought I'd just post it. For all to see. Maybe it will motivate me to lose the damn weight once and for all! I actually don't eat that bad, it's just that I don't exercise! AT ALL! And before I got prego I was never skinny but for the most part I didn't have to exercise to keep the weight off (unless I was on meds that put it on!). BUT now that I've been prego I guess my body is revolting against me in as many ways as possible. Sooooo when I got prego I was in the process of losing weight. I was at 160 and wanted to be 135. Well NOW I'm at 187. I weigh in weekly at my bff's house. She has a WII fit! Sooooo my goal is 160 by the end of the year and 135 by next summer! LMAO. High hopes I know....but if you shoot for the moon maybe I'll at least land on the moon?! :). I'm also gonna kinda post a food diary of sorts. Make myself more accountable. I ate cheerios with reduced fat milk for breakfast. Tea and some chinese for lunch (the one bad day of the week!!), and for dinner I just had tea and cottage cheese. Might snack on some apples with fat free caramel! Sooooo lets see how this goes. I'll post my BMI and weight when I weigh in with Michelle every week. My current BMI is like 33 I believe. So here's to getting hot and skinnier!

Deep in thought.....

2008-09-05T21:50:00.006-05:00

Writing is the way I think......When I see it in writing I usually understand what I'm thinking better. Sometimes I type things I didn't even know I felt or thought. So please please don't judge anything I write. My head is a mess and I'm trying to clear it. It may seem that from day to day I flip flop on what I want and what I think, but isn't that how we make a decision? Tossing ideas around in our head? And for me that involves writing it out too. All versions.

I am not perfect. Duh. No one is. But I am a pretty messed up individual deep down. I don't want anyone that knows me to be offended when I point out the facts, because that's all they are is facts. Facts I have to voice. Facts I have to face to clear my head. The only way to get where I wanna be is right up over this giant mountain. SO that's what I'll do....climb it....one day (or blog) after another, till I see the sun shining on the other side.

From an early age I saw and heard things and witnessed things that kids just shouldn't have to witness. I don't want Gavin to ever ever ever go through the things I went through. I think these things caused me to be the way I am today. I think they have taken a physical and emotional toll on me. More than I ever really imagined. I've read books about how your emotions and experiences can manifest themselves as physical symptoms and diseases. Sucks, but I really think it's true. I have colitis and have since the exact year that my parents got divorced. No medications have worked for it and the doctors don't have a clue how to treat it. The book I read says that colitis can be a manifestation of repressed feelings, being overly concerned with order(or loss of freedom), worrying excessively, feelings of oppression, feelings of defeat, feeling a need for more affection, feelings of anxiety, bottled up hate, holding back, loss of enthusiasm and drive, not being open about what you really feel. And the "symptoms" of colitis, in case it's really not colitis and all the docs are wrong...manifestation of wanting to be done with someone or something, running away from a situation, fear of something in the present, obsessed with order. Also, since the exact year my parents got divorced I have had atopic dermatitis. Or so they "think". I basically have very dry itchy skin all over. My legs itched so bad when I was a teen that I'd scratch them open and bloody and just had to give up wearing shorts for the majority of my teen years and early twenties. I still will rarely if ever wear them. Though it's much better now. The book says "itching" is a manifestation of desires gone unfulfilled, having a difficult time accepting where you are in life, wanting more than you are getting out of life, feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness. Alright....and more....the precancer cells on my cervix....the book says is a manifestation of repressed anger, unresolved resentments. Even weight gain is in here. It says "Fat", manifestated when you feel a need for protection, resistance to forgiving, hidden anger. Guess what?! I lost all my baby weight the two weeks after my son was born. Then I gained it all back and then some. I'm currently almost 40 lbs heavier than I was when I got pregnant. Now most of you will probably think this is a bunch of mumbo jumbo. But Read what I wrote!! It's almost me to a T!!

I'm a jealous person. In many ways I hate it. I will never be completely not a jealous person. I will always feel a need to make sure my husband is 100% faithful to me. I want him to think I am the only person he needs. Woman wise that is. I don't how ever want it to ruin any more relationships in my life. No matter what happens with me and my husband. I have had relationships before Chris that didn't end well. Obviously or we'd still be together! :). One ended because A thought I'd done something that I hadn't done and A never even asked me till years later. Then A regretted it. His bad. His lose. That's the one thing about me that is for sure and everyone knows it. I'm completely loyal. I have never and will never be a cheating lying dishonest person. Another relationship ended because D was violent, had a horrible temper, verbally abused me, and I think (but am not sure) that D was cheating on me. Of course after the relationship was over and we had both moved on he apologized for all he had done and wanted me to know that. HA! The next relationship was a major one in my book. J was very important to me and we were together for nearly 2 years. That relationship, I will admit now, I ruined. It was completely my fault and I will forever hold that in my heart. J was a really great guy. Never would have cheated on me. But I was jealous. He was very handsome and he knew alot of girls through college. I pushed and pushed and pushed until he snapped and either I'd leave or he left 11 times in that 2 years. The one thing I still know he did that I would never have been ok with is that he was best friends with his ex FIANCE. Talked to her more than to me at times! Jeez! But after we broke up he said he knew it was wrong and he wouldn't ever ruin another relationship by being friends with her still. BUT when he wanted to get back together that time I had already met who would end up being my first husband. I told J that I needed to give S a shot because he wouldn't treat me like that. Well I was wrong and shouldn't have done that. Because J never really did anything to me. My fault. Completely. So I met S. That marriage ended because S decided he never wanted children and I just couldn't live with that. Then came a whirlwind of short relationships that ended for many reasons. Then I met Chris. I fell head over heels in love with him. We saw each other several times a week from July of 2006 till he moved in June of 2007. Slow progression of a relationship. Something I had never tried before. I just grew deeper and deeper in love with him. Ask anyone who knows me! I would have cut off my arm in that time to have Chris love me back! Then he moved in. I was ecstatic and sooooo in love. I felt like he was too. Though I knew he was holding back and scared. See he never wanted a serious relationship again anytime soon. But here we were. Together and living together. He did things that I will not repeat again. Lots of things. I found out. There are two sides to this. One side is that I looked in his phone. I invaded his privacy and looked at his text messages. I was wrong to have done that. BUT the other side is that, he did bad bad things. And because I invaded his privacy I found out. I think that I still, even if it was invading his privacy, have the right to be upset about the things I found. But it gets worse. We fought ALOT about these things. And each time I would say ok fine and we would try to stay together and he would say he would never do it again. And guess what? He kept doing it again. SO guess what? I kept looking. I looked at his emails at times, his myspace, his cell phone, the phone bill. Whatever I could to make sure he wasn't lying to me again and cheating on me. He would tell me how much he wanted to be with me and we would somewhat work past it. But I think it built up in me. Some things I know I"m still angry about from last summer and they are the worst ones. Like him telling his very own cousin that I was crazy and we weren't really together and he couldn't wait to get out, and best of all, that he was worried about when I had my son, that I'd be a horrible mother. The emails he sent to these people still flash through my head. I try with all I can to get them to go away. We got married in January. Halfway because we loved each other, and partly because his ex wife was being a B**** and it was either get married or he had to move out. That month I never felt more loved. Ever. When he said he'd marry me I thought all my dreams had come true. I decided to forgive and forget all the bad things. I was ecstatic. He was going to be my husband!! After all this time, I thought.....he really DOES love me! And I asked him and he said it was NOT just because of the court order crap, he REALLY wanted to marry me. :). So there we were happy. Married. And then BAM!! Two weeks after we got married, I had stopped even looking at his cell phone or the bill or the emails and everything. I had thought, hey he married me! There is no way he'd do anything. Well by some random chance I got this bee up my butt to check his phone one day. Not really expecting to find anything. Well there it was, the last female I had still thought was ok for him to talk to (because he said they were 'just friends') and there was a text to her. Telling her he wanted her and that he was FAKING our marriage and couldn't wait to get out of here. I was devastated. I had been wrong. He didn't really love me. He didn't really wanna be married to me. Being married to me didn't mean he had stopped those things. So all the things he had done before we got married came crashing back down into my thoughts. I was angry. We started fighting all the time. I started nagging more. I will admit, I was a bitch alot. But I was beyond hurt. Then it calmed down again a little bit. Things were ok. I had come to where I didn't check his phone or emails because I was afraid of what I'd find. So I played dumb. I decided what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me. Then by some random coincidence I had checked the browsing history on the computer. In May. And I found that he had gone to ALL of those girls he had promised to never talk to agains myspace pages. All in one day. So it basically pushed me over the edge. I was mad. All the time. THen he lost his job that month too. So he was home and I was paying all the bills. Except his mom was paying his child support and truck payment. But i fed us, watered us, tv'd us, phone'd us, electricitied us, everything else. We took little dude out of daycare and Chris stayed home with him. For the whole summer. I got more and more angry. I thought more and more about the things he had done. And got more and more angry. Then I was mad that he didn't defend me when people talked crap about me and my son. I had a disagreement with his mom that pushed me even further. I got mad at everything. I complained that he didn't do anything around the house. Which he did some and he did watch Gavin. He just didn't do as much as I would have liked. Even his mom agreed on that one! And he did great after she talked to him. For two weeks. Then stopped again. By the time he moved out a couple weeks ago I was complaining and bitching daily. Very angry and over 30 lbs fatter. Miserable about my weight. Miserable at the job I was at. And still angry with the things he had done. EVERYDAY I could see those emails in my head. Nearly everyday I would repeat them back to him. Throwing it in his face. At times I would realize that we wouldn't ever work through it if I didn't just forget and try to start fresh. But it is very hard to do that when anger has already become a part of your day to day life. In my heart I wanted to make it better. I wanted my husband. But I just couldn't get those things out of my head. SO i would try being better, being nice and the second he wasn't being nice or did something that bothered me I'd start back at square one. Angry. Then he moved out. My initial reaction was Good riddance! Thank goodness he left so I didn't have to! Thank goodness I don't have to worry about what he's doing anymore! Thank goodness my anger can be released. And alot of it actually HAS released. I realized that I CAN be alone. I can live here by myself. It IS my house of course. I bought it. No man. Just ME. I realized I can be a mother on my own. I can raise my son and play with him and laugh with him. I can keep a clean nice house and still work a full time job and being a good mom. And still have time to scrap!! LOL. I CAN be happy at my new job that I love and make great money. I CAN put my son above all else and stop being depressed and crying because it's better for my son. I CAN actually live without CHris, or any man for that reason. BUT........

I have also realized I don't really think I want to. I miss my husband. I truly do. The longer he is gone the more I realize this. No I'm still not crying and depressed, but yes I miss him. I love him with all my heart. I have for a long time. The reason I never left when he did those things is because I DO love him and it is unconditional. He made mistakes. But I WANT to get past them. I just don't know how. I WANT to be his wife. I want him to love me and my son. I want to keep our family together. I want his son in my life. I want his family in my life. I want us to be The Cooney's for many many years to come. I know I have things I need to think through from my past. THe reasons I have issues with trust and jealousy from before. Though I know it got worse because of the things Chris has done. I think knowing that you have a problem is the first step to fixing it. I know Chris wants to try in a way. He want solitude. Time to think about his life and where it is and where he wants it to be he said. He thinks if he can figure out why he does the things he does and if I can fix the things that I do that he doesn't like maybe we can meet in the middle and work things out. He wants to postpone the paternity test and the divorce till we have time to really think things through. He is living at the farm currently and driving an hour and a half to work and an hour and a half home everyday. I told him I'm not sure that being apart is a great way to fix our main problem. Trust. It was hard enough with him HERE every single day. When I saw him the other day he was even more handsome than ever. His hug was so warm and tight I thought I'd stop breathing. At this point I have no idea what is going to happen. I'm just going to take it day by day. Decide if I can move past the things I need to move past. And I need to get some kind of proof from Chris that he thinks we are worth it and that he is not going to do those things ever again. We shall see I guess......In the meantime, expect many blogs. Possibly making me look even more nuts. :) I'll use my blog kinda as a pro and con list. And I go back and read it and see what I really feel. I think that my mom actually supports my decision to try with Chris. She says she thinks he was changing back in June when he told his mother and me that he would. His mother said the same thing. And here I am feeling stupid, like I was the only one left out of this secret. And I pushed and pushed and pushed and then didn't notice when it actually happened. Alot of other people are NOT going to support this I know. In fact some may thing I'm so stupid and desparate that I'd be with him even though he did those things. I just hope that they can think of it more as ....I'm my love is deep enough to try to save my marriage. That I think no matter what he has done, he is worth it. That I think he is capable of being a great husband, and an even better dad. That I really will be careful, and my biggest priority is protecting little dude.

Thursday 13- 10th Edition

2008-09-04T08:00:00.001-05:00

1. The key to change is to let go of fear. (Rosanne Cash)
2. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain. (Maya Angelou)
3. If you don’t like something, change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. (Mary Engelbreit)
4. When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. (Victor Frankl)
5. Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof. (John Kenneth Galbraith)
6. All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. (Anatole France)
7. Every beginning is a consequence - every beginning ends some thing. (Paul Valery)
8. Change is the law of life and those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. (John F. Kennedy)
9. Everybody has accepted by now that change is unavoidable. But that still implies that change is like death and taxes — it should be postponed as long as possible and no change would be vastly preferable. But in a period of upheaval, such as the one we are living in, change is the norm. (Peter Drucker)
10. Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have—and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up. (James Belasco and Ralph Stayer)
11. Most of our assumptions have outlived their uselessness. (Marshall McLuhan)
12. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is to play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. (Charles Swindoll)
13. The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them. (George Bernard Shaw)
And one to grow on : If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies. (Unknown)

Deep breathing.....

2008-09-01T19:16:00.003-05:00

I had a nice weekend. Full of things to keep busy. Lots of time with Gavin. It's been nice. I've come to a kinda calm point. Maybe it was my fortune cookie the other day saying "There will now be peace and harmony in your home." LOL. I kinda feel like me and Gavin have gotten into a nice new routine. We are very efficient and have lots of play time and yet the house is clean and the laundry is done. Got our groove on for sure! This week will be pretty busy. Until we get surveyed at work I'm the one and only nurse. That means I admit everyone, I do all the visits, I do all the chart auditing, and get everything ready for our survey. It hasn't been bad yet, but this week I've got at least 3 admissions, hopefully 4. It's hard work, but once we pass survey it will be so worth it! My boss says he is taking us on a trip when we pass survey. When he said think of somewhere to go, I was thinking where for dinner! LOL He said noooo I was thinking like....beach. OMG! Super cool. We shall see if it's for real though. It would be very easy to beg Chris to come back, and try again. Because I was comfortable in our relationship. We KNEW each other, every fault, every good thing, every dream. We just knew. But that is not enough to make a successful marriage. The things he did will never be erased. Knowing that he is capable of lying to me repeatedly and capable of doing the things he did behind my back, will never leave my mind. We can't go back to last summer when things were great. Before I found out that I was living in dream land and the person I was in love with wasn't the person that I thought he was. Can't go back. Can't erase pain and dishonesty. Yes I'm fine. I'm actually really fine. Yes I miss him, but I more miss who he was to me in the beginning. I miss what we could have had if none of the negative had happened. Hey, who knows, maybe this will trigger my writing again. LOL. Well, I'm off to make some cards.......till next time.....

Oooooh I sure can pick winners!!

2008-08-29T19:48:00.002-05:00

Yes thats right. I should not be allowed to make decisions when it concerns my love life. I fell head over heels in love with a liar. Yes thats right. He has lied countless times. I've still got printed off emails that he has sent other girls that he still SWEARS up and down he didn't ever send. That his myspace, his email, his computer, my computer, the cell phone, the cingular bill, the computer browser history.....all lying about him, possessed! Can you say BULLSHIT?! And before you say it...yes i knew he was lying about those things. BUT I thought deep down he really loved me and he'd get over that and stop doing it. Yes, I'm a fixer. My friend said that I find these men and they are all fucked up and I think that loving them is ok because I can fix their problems. Well some people are too fucked up to fix. Once you lie to someone and they let you get away with it, you think it's ok to lie again and again because they don't care. Well lies build up and have a way of tearing your life apart and thats just what they did. It drove me to be mad all the time, because of the lies he told. And my fault in this is that I couldn't get over it. Sometimes a mountain of lies is just too big to climb over. It blocks out the sun and you see nothing but the dark shadows. It ruins every part of your relationship and the person you are with suffers deeply when they are lied to so much. And even now, when the facts don't matter, I'm still being lied to. I would just like to know some things before it's all said and done. I want the facts. It makes it easier. I sure made a wrong choice. I thought he would make a good father, and a good husband. I thought that in time the past would be the past and we could move forward. But no, he has failed on both accounts. And it turns out he has been planning this for months. That each of these times I've asked him to just tell me if he was really going to leave when he got a job and he swore up and down that he was planning on staying forever. Even the couple days before he left! WTF! And now I find out that months ago he went to a friend of my sisters to try to find out about getting his cell phone transferred to his own name and off my account. And now, even tonight, he is lying saying he didn't do it. Well this guy has no reason in the world to lie about this. He thought he should call and tell me back then but didn't feel it was his place to call and tell me my husband is an asshole. Well I guess I'm not really surprised. This is a small thing in comparison to the many other things he has done and said. I think this new job, this new life, and being a single mother is the best thing that coulda happened to me. Lots of things are going to be changing now. Some will be painful, but in the end it's what will make me happier!

Thursday Thirteen 9th Edition !!

2008-08-28T10:19:00.012-05:00

Thirteen Pictures I Found Online That I Love

1. Totally adorable! Looks like my cat Julius when he was a baby!

2. OMG! Who doesn't love little posing dressed up babies! Love Anne Geddes!

3. Ahhhhh Clouds.....one of my favorite things! They always cheer me up!

Beautiful sunset over the water......ahhhh peace.

5. So sweet and symbolic....momma's hands with babies feet

6. Another classic!

7. The lone daisy.....braving the world all alone....yet standing tall!

8. heheheh adorable! Everyone who knows me knows I love pets!

9. Silly fat cat!!! Looks like me giggling LMAO!

10. oooooooh sooooo peaceful waterfall in the woods. Would love to see one like this in reality.

11. Tahiti--- I've always thought it was so beautiful and would love to go swing in a hammock over the blue ocean!

12. Raindrops make me smile! I loooooove the raiN!

13. Completely silly! Love love love this one!

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Bit by Bit

2008-08-26T08:58:00.003-05:00

HE came over last night to get the rest of his stuff. I had been anxious about it all day. Would he act like this was hard? Would he show any care at all? Would he change his mind? Would I be able to tell him you CAN'T change your mind? Would I be able to control myself and not cry or yell? Well he called and said he was on the way last night. And me and Gavin busied ourselves waiting for HIM. When HE got there we were in the kitchen so he picked up little man for a minute and then put him down and started getting busy loading his stuff. HE barely said two words to me. Mostly just asking where this or that was. Nothing else. Then after he was done packing, with me and little man sitting right there in the living room he just stood by the door and said I think I got everything but I'll call if I think of anything else, talk to ya later. And shut the door. And walked out of our lives. No tears. No hug goodbye. No longing look towards me or little man. No one last kiss. No one last hug or kiss for little man either. He just left. I was so hurt when he shut that door that my heart just shattered into a million pieces and I cried so hard my chest hurt and my whole body was shaking. And then I straightened up and played with MY son. And I thought to myself....HIS loss. HE will realize one day that NO woman will put up with the things I did from him. NO woman could love him as much as I did despite his actions and being so undeserving of that unrequited love. We will be fine. We can do this without him. We will tie up all the loose ends and keep this in our past. We will forget in time the pain that we are now enduring. We will be happy and live our life. I will give Gavin all the love I have, because he is the only man who deserves it.

My heart aches

2008-08-22T20:48:00.003-05:00

I know the actual posting of this won't help me, but writing it out takes the ache away just a tiny bit. I miss my husband. I hurt. I want him here. I want the fun times we used to have. I want goofiness. I want more pictures. I want more time. I want to watch him with the boys. I want to kiss his soft lips. I want to feel his strong warm hugs. I want to kiss him goodnight and see him get irritated with my reading light. I wanna here him snoring beside me. I want to see his pillow and squishy pillow right beside mine on the bed. I want my husband. I miss what we used to be.

I cry when I see his creamer in the refrigerator. I cry as I pack up his left over stuff. I cried when I went through all the pictures to send with him. Just in case he wanted to remember us at all. I've been worried sick about where he is, if he has food and a place to stay, if he is ok. I know he wanted to leave, but it doesn't make me hate him and doesn't make me wish he was in a bad place. I SHOULD not care one bit where he is or how he is doing since he chose to walk away from our family and everything we had together. I shouldn't care that he left me and Gavin alone. I shouldn't care that he didn't say goodbye to eithr of us. I shouldn't care that he hasn't called at all. Because he chose this.

I try to be strong. I try t think of all the bad things he has done to make it easier to know he's gone but thats hard. I love him so much and have for so long I just can't erase it. I really thought that all my determination, all the work I put into making it through our tough times would end up benefiting us in the end. But instead it didn't do anything. I started out as nothing but a booty-call for him and didn't even know it. I was just the girl he called on the nights no one else could come. And I fell head over heels in love with him. I thought he was such a wounded soul. His stupid ex wife had broken him and I was just the person to show him that all women weren't like that! I'd shower him with my love and he would fall head over heels in love with me too. That's not what happened. I just grew more and more in love with him and he continued doing what he had always done. Don't get me wrong, he didn't falsely lead me back then, he told me he didn't want a serious relationship. But still....I kept trying. Then one day he wanted to live with me. Just like that! And then it was sleeping together every night, a family suddenly. Filled with laughs and I love you's. Then the bad stuff happened. But still.....we kept going. He was there when I had my son, through my c section, through my post csection complications, through all my doctor visits, through my newest health problems, through raising my son for his first year, with me on most of my son's doctors visits and We got married even. And still bad stuff kept going on. But I persevered. And now, after pouring my love into him for over 2 years, he is gone. Just like that.

He left me with a broken heart, a pile of pictures and scrapbook pages, and his last name.

Thursday 13 - 8th Edition

2008-08-21T22:07:00.003-05:00

Thirteen Things I Will Do to Make it Through

1. Play with my Son and read him books.

2. Scrapbook away the hours!

3. Read every book on my book shelf.

4. Sleep.

5. Exercise. I need to lose all this weight pronto!

6. Kick butt at my new job I start Monday.

7. Spend time with Michelle and her family.

8. Spend time with my family.

9. Fill my time with as many Stamp Shack events as possible.

10. Purge and reorganize my whole house. Including Cleaning out the attic and organizing the scrapbook room!

11. Learn to cook a few new things.

12. Deep clean the whole house.

13. Snuggle and love on my cats, dog, and son!

Broken Promises

2008-08-21T20:20:00.002-05:00

Why is it that people can never keep their word? Is there a sign on my forehead that says HEY COME HERE AND USE ME!! I have been lied to so many times and yet I just kept forgiving. My only problem was the forgetting. After nearly a year of my husband going behind my back to talk to other girls, talking sexually with them, telling them he was dreaming of making love to them, telling them he wanted to meet them at a hotel, telling people he was faking our relationship and then faking our marriage, and even 2 weeks after we got married he was still doing it!!!! And then again a few months later he was going to check out their myspace pages still!! BEHIND MY BACK. So yes after all this time and all this stuff, I'm ANGRY. I've been so hurt and he lost all my trust. And now he has been jobless this summer (he was also jobless last year from June 27th till right before thanksgiving!) and now this time from May till just this week he started working again. For this whole time he has probably done less than a dozen individual chores around the house. Here and there. Until his mom told him he should and he did great for a week or two, and then bam! back down to not doing anything. You know, I'm not a major cleaner, but i'm also not completely disgusting. You know I don't HAVE to do dishes everyday if I dont want to, especially when he was home ALL DAY LONG! Ok so now we are at the point where we argue alot. I say things about him calling girls behind my back, and things about him not doing enough around the house, and not being loving to me. He argues back about how I said 'clean slate' and bitch at him all the time about not doing stuff. He cannot get it through his thick skull that me working the majority of our relationship while he sits here at the house and does nearly nothing is very WRONG. I will admit that fighting about it all time is NOT good. I hate it. I hate that Gavin sees it. I hate that I trusted someone who didn't deserve to be trusted. I'm sorry that I let it get as far as it did. I'm sorry that I got angry with him not doing things around the house. I'm sorry I didn't just clean it all myself. I'm sorry I didn't see that he didn't really love me when it was so clear he didn't when he told everyone he didn't and told everyone he was faking everything. He even told new employers and potentials that he was NOT EVEN MARRIED!! And that is just a couple weeks ago!! He told everyone he was going to leave the second he got a job and guess what?! HE DID! Between last night and this morning, it was just one fight too many for both of us. He said last night that counseling would help us and he unpacked his stuff, but then this morning after he went to his interview he came back and started packing. He wants to completely walk away from me and Gavin and never see us again. Some things I did say out of anger, but some I meant. I started getting very ill at the thought of him leaving and my chest hurt and my head was pounding and I screamed at him to leave NOW. I told him to get his stuff later. And he kept refusing. Walking around all smug and uncaring. Snickering and rubbing it in my face. I kept screaming for him to leave. I just needed time to breath and make the chest pain go away and calm down before I could face my husband walking out on me and my son. But NOOOOO, instead he calls the freakin' police! TO MY OWN HOUSE! He told them I wouldn't let him get his stuff and leave. More proof he couldn't care less about me or my son, which by the way WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME! I was in the bathroom blow drying my hair and he left, without even saying goodbye to me OR Gavin. Just walked out of our lives like he was never there. His phone is no longer on so I can't even text him which is good and bad. I'd probably have texted him a hundred times by now and it's a bad thing because he left a bunch of stuff here so I can't even find out when he will come get the rest of it. I have NO idea how to afford an attorney and it's going to be a rather complicated ordeal now. Well I'm trying to deep breath and relax. I've rearranged all the furniture, cleaned up a storm, and played with Gavin. He can make me smile even when my heart is broken.

Sorry It's been a few days!

2008-08-19T14:37:00.002-05:00

I've been super duper busy!! First I did get that job in Henderson!! My first day is next monday! I'm very excited about the opportunities that I'll get there and the what the future may hold for me if I stick around there! I admitted my first patient for them on Friday night! I have alot of work to do on fixing up their paperwork to make it shine and sparkle though. I'm getting more and more excited, getting all my stuff ready to take there. I even dug out all the old home health forms I had designed! My current boss is very sad to see me go. In fact she offered to match the salary that I was offered!! Thats tremendous for this company to offer. BUT it still wouldn't make up for the paid for insurance for me and my husband and the opportunities that are there. Not to mention getting away from some of the things I don't like here!

I got a couple new pairs of scrubs and some nice new sneakers! Tax free weekend sales ROCK! I don't care about the minute tax that you don't get to pay, but the SALES rock! I shopped like ALL day Saturday with Michelle! And we had lunch at applebees and took Gavin to get his hair cut! I'll have to post pics, it's adorable! Short spikey hair now! THat night me and Gavin went to hang out at Michelle's house and played some Wii. It was kinda hard with Gav wanting to go everywhere and getting into stuff and he wouldn't eat without his high chair, so we had to leave pretty early :(. I didn't do any scrapping this weekend which sucks since I usually do when Chris is outta town. But with getting home late friday night after admitting that patient, and shopping all day saturday and going to Michelle's and then went to lunch and shopping again Sunday with my Dad, I was lucky to even get some laundry done!!

Bad thing - my cat that is 4 years old, Julius, ran away sunday night! We looked everywhere and on Monday night we finally found him but he got scared and ran under a house!! I cried! But we had to go home. I knew for sure we had lost him for real then. It was like 5 blocks away, twisting and turning down roads and it was POURING down rain half the night. BUT good news, this morning when we woke up he was sitting on the back porch!!! He is so super smart!! I'm putting shock collars on all the pets now!!! This will never happen again!!

It is hard at work this week to be motivated to do ANYTHING. I've got all my normal work done and I'm just sitting around, playing on the internet and wishing I was at my new job already. I'm bored out of my mind. Normally these slow times are when I make up new plans and go through charts, etc. But just don't have the motivation now! Oh well, the count down has begun!

I was bad and drove thru Andy's yesterday afternoon for a heath and hot fudge custard concrete! YUM YUM! Bad for the arse though!

This is the last week of Summer of Scraplovin' Challenge. :( WAAAAAAA! I'm sure going to miss these challenges. They make me think out of my box! And make me do at least that one project a week. This last week is to do an altered project that is about ME! Yikes!! Two hard challenges in one really! I started something last night and we will see where it goes. If not I'll have to haul ass workin' on another one by Saturday!

Speakin' of Saturday, I'm going to a Stampin' Up Saturday Morning Club. It's the one that MIchelle is hosting at the Stamp Shack, so at least the spendings will go to a good place!! lol. I think i know what I want, but then again i always change my mind! hehehehe.

Well off to do some more boring work......

Thursday 13 - 7th Edition !

2008-08-13T17:48:00.002-05:00

Thirteen Unhealthy Things I Love
1. Boneless Buffalo wings - yum yum yum!!
2. Andys Custard - I always get the concrete (which is like a blizzard) with hot fudge and heath chips! Probably a whole weeks calories in one!
3. Brownies - especially fresh out of the oven with ice cream on top!
4. My homeade from scratch chocolate chip heath cookies ! I eat half the dough and then love the cookies!
5. Cookie dough - good ol' raw cookie dough, tubs at a time! Especially while I was prego! I had to carry around a baggy full! LOL
6. Big Ol' pretzels dipped in nacho cheese! Lots of salt!
7. Ice Cream - alllll ice cream - my top favorite dessert of all time. My faves are cookies n cream, mint chocolate chip, and turtles n cream!
8. Chocolate Xtreme Blizzards from Dairy Queen! They finally got it right!
9. Peanut M&M's ! Love taking a big ol' bag to the movie theater (yes I sneak them in my purse!!!!) or a bowl full while I'm scrapping!
10. Chips and Queso - not as bad as some things on here, but I could eat buckets and buckets of the stuff!
11. Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo - allllll the creamy noodle-y goodness !
12. Bread!! ALL BREAD ALL THE TIME!!!
13. Cream Soda - oooooh yes I love the old schoolness of it!

Starting another week.......

2008-08-11T19:55:00.004-05:00

Sometimes it feels like....what's the point? I feel so miserable at times and mostly for good cause, but still....whats the point....Why do I deal with the things I deal with in the name of love? I don't think I deserve it, maybe I'm wrong and I suck and I deserve it all, but I don't think so. I will no longer tolerate the disrespect, the purposeful humiliation, the uncaring attitude, the so-what-if-it-works actions. I'm tired of fighting for something that apparently I'm the only one who wants. I should be able to depend on this ONE person to have my back and be on my side all the time. I shouldn't have to try to MAKE him love me and support me, it should just be there!

I worked on my SOSL Week 5 layout and finished last night! Here are some pics of it!

Tonights Work.....

2008-08-08T23:13:00.003-05:00

Playing with my new Stampin' Up papers I love! :-) I did a silly layout of my son with Stampin Up Jersey Shore Patterned Papers, Target $1 Spot Foam Letters!, Scenic Route Paper (the journaling is on), Spare Parts Pewter brads, Chalk Inked the edges of the papers!

I also made a card. Using more of the Stampin' Up papers, and the cake is a stampin' up stamp, colored with Stampin' Up Writers and Stickled the icing, with a doodlebug brad in the center of the flower! The Happy Birthday is Making Memories alphas. The flowers are Fresh Paint paper flowers and a smidgen of scenic route paper. Stickles take forever to dry!!!

LONG WEEKEND AHEAD OF ME......

2008-08-08T16:30:00.001-05:00

Well the guy from that company called me and told me that him and the owner both really loved me and think I'll be a perfect fit in their company! :) He said before I even left the owner was texting him telling him how much he liked me!! They also agreed to the salary I asked for!! OMG!! BUTTTTTTT he said last time they jumped the gun and hired the first person who came in so they want to still think about it over the weekend and talk to the bigger owner before they call me back for sure on monday or tuesday. BUT he said not to worry because they really loved me. hmmmmm, this is going to be a long long long long long weekend!!

Change

2008-08-07T18:34:00.002-05:00

I was not even looking for a new job and some how a job fell into my lap. Someone actually went to a friend of mine and talked about a job, and because they like their job, they barely even listened to the offer. BUT she referred them to me!! Told them all about me, so I called them. Not that I was looking, but thought what could it hurt to at least listen to what he has to say? So anyway, I did, and today I talked to him. It seems like a very great place to work. It's a little further drive, but won't really take any longer than it already takes me due to traffic in the morning. I currently go 10 miles to and from work, and it takes like 25 minutes, but it takes longer when school is in session. The new job is 33 miles away but it only takes 35 minutes to get there because I go the back roads, and the complete opposite of most people lol. I currently work 9 to 5 and don't get home till like 5:30. The new job is 8 to 4:30. So I'll be home a tiny bit earlier but I'll have to leave earlier. The current job I get to have lunch with michelle several times a week, but at the new job I wont get to at all. :(. But the job is pretty flexible. Like I asked them about what happens when my son gets sick and they said as long as my job is done it's no big deal if I have to take off when he's sick, or work half day, or even bring him into the office. I've got alot of control at the new place, I get to pick all our forms, OASIS, salaries, hire people, basically set everything up the way I would like it to be run. He said he won't step on my toes because he is not a nurse, I'll be in charge of that, but he will be there to back me up. The place I'm currently a SAYS I can do all of this, but undermines me left and right and I basically have NO power. I really like what I'm learning about this new place. I'm waiting on him to give me a salary offer and I'll see if it's worth the move. But they have already said money is not an issue because they have some major backers. :). I'm super excited! I'll keep ya informed!

Thursday 13 - 6th Edition

2008-08-06T20:56:00.018-05:00

Thirteen Quotes I Love
1. "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." — Abraham Lincoln
2. "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." — Mark Twain
3. "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." -Les Brown
4. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." — Dr. Seuss
5. "If you can imagine it,You can achieve it.If you can dream it,You can become it." -William Arthur Ward
6. "Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep." -Scott Adams
7. "Music is what feelings sound like." — Author unknown
8. "Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere." — Albert Einstein
9. "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." — Oscar Wilde
10. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.' " — C.S. Lewis
11. "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." — Ralph Waldo Emerson
12. "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." — Friedrich Nietzsche
13. "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. " — Mahatma Gandhi

Climbing and Art

2008-08-05T21:36:00.003-05:00

Yesterday Gavin learned to climb the stairs! He went from the morning going up 3 steps, to by bed time he got to the top of the stairs!! Full of sick gasping feelings for Mommy for sure!! Gotta put the gate up now so he can't go up there! Feels like we gate everything off, we have two gates blocking entrances to kitchen and close the scrappy room and bathroom doors, but now we gotta gate off the stairs lol. It's a pain!

I also did my SOSL week #4 challenge which was very different for me! It was to alter something that would be out on display, like the back of a picture frame, cardboard, a canvas or something. I chose a canvas and went to work! I really love how it turned out and can't wait to hang it up! I love the challenges over at Scraplove!!

Tonight I went to a Stampin' Up Tile Class at The Stamp Shack with Christie and had so much fun! She is super cool and it's so laid back over there! I made two tiles that I'll post here too! Andme and Michelle joined the Tile Club so there will be many more tiles to come! One for my desk at work, and one for home this time!

Lazy Weekend....

2008-08-03T11:06:00.002-05:00

This week Ethan went home. :(. We were super sad to see him go, it will be so different without him here everyday. Maggie will be lonely for sure! And who will have crafttime with me? Waaaa! Thursday night I used some money my Dad gave me last weekend to go to Buffalo Wild Wings with Chris, Gavin, Michelle, Kris, and Garrett. :) It was nice to do something with them and nice to go out, even if it was on a week night!! Plus I knew Chris was kinda down cause that was the day he took Ethan home. Anywho....after work friday we hit wal-mart for our every other week grocery shoppin' to get it over with and rented a movie. Meet the Spartans - funny for sure! Kinda over the top, but funny nonetheless! Saturday we let my mom and Gordon babysit so we could go to the theater to see The Dark Knight. It was pretty good, but LONG! Good thing we snuck in those m&m's and skittles. heheheheh. And we got some cute photo booth pics for me to scrapbook soon! The rest of the day was spent chillin' out, got a nap in too. Gavin's 3rd and 4th tooth are still only half out! lol, they are slow! This morning when we woke up Gavin was BUTT NAKED! His diaper was on the floor outside of the crib and there was pooooooop everywhere! LOL. Fun times! I scrapped one page last night and I'll post it here. Now we are getting ready to go have lunch with my Dad at Applebee's. Then home, maybe another nap, AND scrapping!! I can't wait to do week 4 challenge on Summer of Scraplove Challenge. :) The earlier they post the challenge, I might actually get to spend alot of time working on it today! Talk to ya soon!

Friend or Not?

2008-08-01T09:21:00.003-05:00

Starting new friendships has never been my forte. Don't get me wrong, once I have a friend, I'm a great friend! I will do absolutely anything for my friends, especially my best friend in the whole world Michelle. Because I don't make friends easily, because I think most women are just venegeful people users, I hold tight to the ones I find worth having a friendship with. I had 2 best friends in nursing school, one just got busy in her own life and we stopped talking. The other one calls every once in awhile but it gets farther and farther in between. It's just when I fit into her life that she calls, even though I've gone above and beyond with her to ensure I got to see her. But thats history, water under the bridge, now. TRUE best friends can't go that long without talking! I have had lots of 'friends' that were just there in that one part of my life and then when I moved on or they did we just stopped being friends. So not real friendship in my opinion. Then I worked at a place for a long time and met lots of great people there (or so I thought). But slowly, as they all left that job, and I stayed, our friendships became not so important to them. I still thought some of them were my friends but when I gave them a chance, they just abused our friendship and then proved we were never really friends in the first place. My husband said he knew they weren't my real friends, or they would have been around more and cared more. I guess he was right. I just hate being sooooo wrong about people. I guess in some areas I trust too much. So here I am, once again a victim of misplaced friendship. Oh well, I just had to write about it, to get it off my chest because it really bothers me. I guess I will stick with the one person in the world I trust will always be my best friend, will never use me, and will always be there when I need her, MICHELLE! She is the definition of a true best friend. And funny/great thing about it is we are SOOOO alike and she agrees with me on this because she has been in the same boat, and she knows our friendship is one in a million! Love ya girl!!

Thursday 13 - 5th Edition

2008-07-30T18:58:00.001-05:00

Thirteen Things I would Do if I won the LOTTERY!
1. Redo the kitchen, bathrooms, and carpet in my house and finish the attic into a room and then RENT IT OUT!
2. Build the coolest green house me and Chris can dream up!! On a big piece of land with a creek and woods!
3. Take a leave of absence from work and go on a world travel trip with Chris and Gavin of course. And have my mom and Gordon meet us in one country and in one country fly Michelle, Kris and Garrett over!
4. Use all the money we need to to fight for custody of Ethan, my stepson.
5. A little plastic surgery for fun - breast lift, tummy tuck, some laser hair removal so i never have to shave my legs or underarms again! And start tanning and getting my nails done again!
6. Laser eye surgery ASAP!
7. Buy my husband Chris any motorcycle he wants.
8. Buy me, Chris, Ethan, and Gavin all 4 wheelers and then an extra for company! And other recreational vehicles including an RV for all our trips, jet skis, and a boat!!
9. My mom gets 200,000 to build a house, and so does my dad.
10. My sister will get a trust fund of 200,000 to be given to her when she graduates from college.
11. Trust funds will be started for Gavin and for Ethan each of 200,000 payable to them when they graduate from college also!
12. Two trips for just me and Michelle! One to New York for shopping and fun, and the other a scrapbooking cruise!!
13. Last but not least I would open my own business to guarrantee long term income. Not sure which though, it would either be an Assisted Living facility to have all my favorite patients come live in! Or a Scrapbook store, local and online! It will depend on if I decide I wanna really WORK or just play all day! LOL

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SOSL Challenge #3

2008-07-30T18:51:00.003-05:00

It took me several days, since sunday to finish this weeks challenge. I had to keep walking away and coming back to it till I liked it. Now I do. LOL. Anal yes. And here are a few Gav pics from this week! And my other baby in th highchair. :D.

The Weekend

2008-07-28T19:28:00.003-05:00

Last week I finished my SOSL #2 Challenge Layout. It was a challenge to use at least 3 non-scrappy items on your page. Here is my layout!!

I used lots of non-scrappy items including - name badge from nursing school, student ID, patch from my lab coat, paper lunch sack, rubber, and notebook paper for the journaling. The rubber band is holding down about 4 sheets of torn notebook paper with journaling. I loved working on this one. Chris and Ethan went and spent the weekend at the farm and me and Gavin stayed home. Friday night me and Gavin just chilled out and when he went to bed I watched all my recorded soaps from the week! lol. Saturday I watched alot of chic movies and stuff I had recorded, cleaned little house and then Saturday night me and Michelle went to see Mama Mia and then went to STampo at the Stamp Shack! It was a blast! I can't wait to do more things over at the Stamp Shack, the lady that owns it, Christie is very nice and soooo personable! Sunday I went to lunch and Sams with my dad and sister and Gavin. We went to Newk's. I love that place lol. And I spent the rest of the afternoon chillin' with Gavin and nappin' when he napped. :D. And finally I got to do some scrapbooking last night after Chris got home. I've been so tired lately I just hate it. I get a decent amount of sleep and I'm still so fatigued all the time. I wish I had more energy. Well I'm off to blow dry my hair so I can maybe get some scrapping done before bedtime!

Thursday Thirteen 4th Edition

2008-07-23T19:12:00.015-05:00

Thirteen Women I'd Rather Look Like!

1.Katherine Heigl - because she is sooooo glamourously cute. Is that an adequate descriptor?!

2. Sara Ramirez - Making curvy look much better than I can!

3. Jennifer Love Hewitt - she is so cute! I wish I could look that good and natural wearing dresses everyday!

4. Britney SPears - I will forever love the PRE trashed-out-crazy-brit.

5. Catherine Zeta Jones - I hope I look that good when I get that old!

6. Marilyn Monroe - Talk about classic beauty! Back in the days when curvy was cool not bone thin rail nasty chics

7. Angelina Jolie - so pretty nowadays! Maybe it's the whole save the world attitude she has. THough I'm not a fan of her old trashy days.

8. Kate Winslet - when she was in Titanic! Pretty! And I was born in the wrong decade, I woulda loved wearing those pretty dresses back then!

9. Drew Barrymore - adorably cute beautiful! If I can't be just classically stunning couldn't I have been at least adorably cute beautiful?!

10. Chelsie Hightower - She is the most adorable thing! ANd man I wish I could dance like that!

11. Katharine McPhee - I love all that gorgeous dark hair! And damn I wish I had her legs!

12. Kate Beckinsale - I thought she was adorably cute in Serendipity and siren hot in the underworld and van helsing! I'd LOVE to be her hot momma butt!

13. Katie Holmes - SHe is so cute! I love when she dresses all classic high class beautiful!

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Saturday

2008-07-20T10:30:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I spent half the day with my sister, mom and Gavin! We ate lunch at Newks, it was soooo good and prolly one of my new fave places to eat! And We went shopping at the Mall and Michaels. My mom got Gavin and Ethan some new clothes and me a few scrappy items. Including zip dry!! I LOVE IT! It's prolly one of the best scrappy adhesives ever! I think it will now be my adhesive of choice because it lasts way longer than any other adhesive I've had, therefore it saves me money! Awesome! Well this is the layout I made last night. While I made my layout Ethan used his new markers to color a picture of the farm. :) He likes our crafty time he said!! And when a good song comes on the radio we just look at each other and start doing our funky dance! fun times!

Friday Night Fun

2008-07-18T20:37:00.001-05:00

Last night I finished my Summer of Scraplovin' Week 1 challenge layout. It took several redo's to get it the way I wanted! I also finished another layout done of Gavin. Ethan came and wanted 'craft time' with me too. :) Both thursday and friday night he spent some time in the scraproom coloring with me. :) Since he was using my Stampin' Up markers, I got him some of his own today. He likes coming in there, and tells me lots of stories and things about his life while we are in there. :) He wants me to make a layout of pictures of him and Maggie and have it titled "Best Friends Forever".....so that will be coming to a blog near you soon.

Thursday Thirteen (Early) 3rd Edition

2008-07-17T10:00:00.000-05:00

Thirteen Things about living GREEN that I couldNever Do!1. My car! I live way too far away from work and just about everything else to live without my gas guzzling, ozone layer depleting car!
2. Air Conditioning – It is way way way tooooooo hot in texas for no AC. I’d melt! I love it COLD!
3. Scrapbooking! – I know wasting all that paper is far from GREEN, but It’s my passion !! And it’s not really wasting cause I use up the scraps too and I KEEP the pages, so it’s not real wasteful. J
4. Bottled water – I hate tap water!! I will always drink bottled water. Granted I’m a tiny green because I fill up my jug each day and don’t waste lots of individual bottles.
5. Reading Books – is that not green because they are made from trees?? If so I’m NEVER gonna stop reading books!
6. Hair Dye – I don’t even REMEMBER my natural hair color lol. And whatever it is, it’s never coming back. J But luckily the guy I go to uses a veggie based hair dye so it’s semi-green!
7. Disposable diapers and wipes – I am NOT doing the cloth diaper thing ever! It’s gross and even more so because the daycare would never do it!
8. Germ X ! I don’t like germs!
9. Mr. Clean Wipes – sooooooooo easy to use and kills all the germs!
10. My long hot baths/showers – I loooooooooooove them! I try to save water elsewhere in place of wasted water in the shower!
11. Toilet paper! DUH!!
12. All organic food – I can’t find enough to make all of my food organic! And plus I have a tiny yard so no planting all my food to consume anytime soon.
13. Tampons!! Have you seen the options?! Yikes! http://Divacup.com! Not so sure I can go THAT green!

Grrrr.....

2008-07-15T19:48:00.002-05:00

Yeah as if nausea and vomitting weren't bad enough.....today my back went out! For the first time ever! I was just barely starting to feel un-nauseated....and I reached to pick up Gavin and BAM! Shooting pain right in the middle of my back. I couldn't move or breath and just cried and cried while gasping for air. IT SUCKED! My husband had my mom come over and watch the boys so he could take me to the ER. They say strained thoracic muscle. Gave me a pain shot and some prescription muscle relaxer and pain meds. So now here I am stuck in pain on the couch and wanting to scrapbook! My husband was so super sweet and helpful today! I missed the Tile Class i was supposed to go to tonight too! :( I was really really looking forward to it! :( Guess I'll have to catch the next one. Well I'm off to dope up and hopefully get some sleep........

XOXO
Michelle

Yucky!

2008-07-14T17:40:00.002-05:00

I feel so yucky today! :(. I went to work today and right after I got there I started throwing up. After three times and unrelieved nausea I said I'm going home! So I came home and took a 3 hour nap! Now I still feel really nauseaous but no idea why! Maybe it was all the late nights this weekend with the online crop mixed with unhealthy snack foods? Or maybe it was lunch at Jalapeno Tree yesterday? Whatever it is it sucks!! I need to get in there and scrap my layout for challenge one of the Summer of Scrap Lovin' but don't wanna throw up on it!!

ScrapLove Kickoff Cyber Crop Layouts

2008-07-13T17:41:00.005-05:00

I had sooooo much fun with this online crop! It's the first time I've ever done one! I got tons of layouts finished in 24 hours!! This is what I made!

THursday 13 - 2nd Edition!

2008-07-09T19:31:00.004-05:00

Thirteen Things about Michelle13 Movies I love:
1. The Notebook - who doesn't love that movie?!
2. Saw (all of them!) - LOVE bloody scary movies.
3. The Green Mile - that is the only super long movie i love lol
4. Wedding Crashers - FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!
5. The Ring - One of the only movies that actually scares me!
6. Aladdin - I used to know EVERY WORD! lol
7. Serendipity - Just something about fate and love mmmmmm!
8. A Knights Tale - Just great!
9. Along Came Polly - Sooooo funny!
10. The Lake House - Such a love story! Def not reality!
11. Breakfast at Tiffanys - Audrey rocks!
12. Titanic - such a classic movie!
13. Monsters Inc! LOVE IT!

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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HILARIOUS

2008-07-09T10:26:00.002-05:00

2008-07-08T20:33:00.000-05:00

Come Join Us!
For the 2nd Annual “Summer of Scraplovin” challenge at ScrapLove!Beginning July 13th, participants will compete in 6 weekly challenges for a chance to win great prizes and a chance at a one-month guest Design Team Lovely spot at Scraplove.com. Winners will be chosen and will be announced on Wednesday, August 27th, 2008. For more information or to sign up, Go HERE!

Weight Loss

2008-07-07T10:23:00.002-05:00

Michelle K. had a great idea!! Here is my weight loss ticker and I'll keep up with it hopefully weekly!

Survey From Michelle....

2008-07-06T21:44:00.002-05:00

Trying to get to know everyone!. Heres a little about me. :)

1. What time did you get up this morning? Chris let me sleep in till almost 9 ! :)
2. Do you prefer diamonds or pearls? Definitely diamonds.
3. What was the last movie you saw in a cinema? I actually don't even remember but it was me and Chris. I've only been to the movies 2 times since Gavin was born last September!!
4. What is your favorite TV show? My all time fave is Greys Anatomy, but right now I'm keeping up with So You Think You Can Dance and watching alot of Green TV shows!
5. What do you usually eat for breakfast? Cereal, toast, I'm on a constant search for things I can take in my car to eat that fill me up and taste good!
6. What’s your middle name? Michelle IS my middle name ;)
7. What food do you dislike? Mushrooms, olives, liver.
8. What’s your favorite CD at the moment? Sara Bareilles or Ingrid Michaelson
9. What kind of car do you drive? 2007 Honda CRV
10. What’s your favorite sandwich? PB and J or a french dip sandwich from just about anywhere!
11. What characteristic do you despise? Liars, people that are fake, or people that are two faced..(ditto michelle!)
12. What’s your favorite item of clothing? don't really have one
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Greece
14. Are you an organized person? They tell me at work I'm SUPER organized, but I feel like I could be MORE organized
15. Where do you want to retire to? Colorado would be awesome. (Ditto again!)
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? I guess the one from THIS WEEK! lol just because it's sooo recent. :) It was fun!
17. What are you going to do when you finish this? Go read my book.
19. Person you expect to fill it out first? I don't know, michelle already did it!
20. What’s on your bathroom counter? Toilet paper, flat iron, toothbrush, eyeshadow, handsoap
21. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Well the first part of morning I'm good, but get tired by late morning, but i've got renewed energy and more creativity in the late evening lately! :)
22. What’s your shoe size? 6 1/2
23. Any pets? dog and 2 cats!
24. Any new & exciting news you’d like to share? Not really
25. What did you want to be when you were little? A teacher
26. How are you today? I'm ok. Did lots of shopping today with my birthday money. Just was busy. But we watched a good movie - National Treasure 2
27. What’s your favorite flower? Big Fat Gerber Daisies!
28. What’s the next date you’re looking forward to? Labor Day - another long weekend! And next to that- Sept 14!! Gavin's first birthday!
29. What are you listening to right now? some show on the history channel chris is watching
30. What’s the last thing you ate? Baked chicken, mashed potatoes and baked beans
31. Do you wish on stars? Not usually, it never worked out so i quit trying.
32. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Red
33. How is the weather right now? Too damn hot!!
34. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My mom i believe
35. Favorite soft drink? if i had to drink one it'd be cream soda or root beer. but i generally don't drink soft drinks
36. Favorite restaurant? shoguns!
37. Hair color. brown with some blonde highlights
38. What was your favorite toy as a child? close tie between barbie dolls and cabbage patch dolls!
39. Summer or winter? Definately Winter
40. Do you like your hair? Yes usually
41. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate for sure
42. Coffee or tea? Tea. I love coffee but it hates me!
43. Do you prefer your friends e-mail or call you? definitely a text messaging, emailing girl! I HATE talking on the phone!
44. When was the last time you cried? yesterday in the dressing room of Cato's LOL
45. What’s under your bed? hopefully nothing, but it's Maggie's secret place where she hides things of ours and eats them!
46. What did you do last night? Went to a Dinner for my birthday with My best friend Michelle and her hubby Kris, my hubby, and Amanda and her hubby . It was so much fun.
47. What are you afraid of? Spiders and snakes! And my car crashing into the water off a bridge!
48. Salty or sweet? Definately sweet
49. How many keys are on your key ring? I have no idea! but not a whole lot
50. How long have you been at your current job? 3 1/2 months
51. Favorite day of the week? Sunday
52. Do you make friends easily? not really.
53. How many brothers & sisters do you have? I have one sister.
54. Are your parents still married? No
55. Do you like finding little details about your friends? Yes