I said screw it.....

Why is it that some people lack the ability to change? They live their same boring life day in and day out and don’t seem to mind it one bit. They react the same way to things, they eat the same things, they do the same things, go to the same places, say the same things, talk to the same people. I have somewhat become a victim of this. I go to the same stores at about the same days/times, I talk to the same people, I text the same people, I stay home and watch the same shows, I have the same hair nights each week, on long weekends we always go to the farm. I never go out on week nights and rarely on the weekend do I go out, and hardly never without my son. I do like my life, but sometimes I remember dreams I used to have. I always wanted to live in Colorado or in Boston area. I wanted to be cool and go to museums and eat at little bistros on the street. I wanted to walk the streets of new york instead of driving everywhere I need to go. I wanted to be a nurse practitioner and have a pediatric clinic. I’ve wanted to be in nursing research. I’ve wanted to own my own home health agency. Yet here I am still in Tyler area, working for someone else (not that I don’t love my job, but that’s not the point!), and haven’t taken any more classes towards higher degrees since like 2003 or 2004! Now I’m on my second marriage and first baby. I own a house, which is good. But I want vacations and nice outfits. I don’t wanna wear scrubs everyday! I want to get my masters degree. I wanna eventually make a lot more money than I do now! I’d love to live in Colorado even now, but have to wait till I win the lottery and when Ethan turns 18 ! lol. I guess I’m just full of dreams at times. That’s the way us humans are though, at least the one’s with brains, always striving for bigger and better things. I love my son, husband, job, and house though! I’m probably going to register to start taking classes at home to get my bachelors degree and then Masters. I found the program and you just do it at your own pace, one module at a time and take as long as you need to do it. You pay monthly. If I can swing it, I really really wanna do this to further my education, job opportunities, salary range, etc. And plus I’ll just feel better about my self !! I need to start working out too. I’ve gotta be the fun cool mom so all Gavin’s friends will wanna come to OUR house so I’ll have to worry less about what kinda trouble he is getting into! Heheheh. Yes, I’m already worried about my son as a teenager. I hope I teach him enough about good and bad that he will know the difference and be a great kid! I hope I can be his friend, yet teach him discipline and respect. Well I better get off here and work some more !!!