Bit by Bit

HE came over last night to get the rest of his stuff. I had been anxious about it all day. Would he act like this was hard? Would he show any care at all? Would he change his mind? Would I be able to tell him you CAN'T change your mind? Would I be able to control myself and not cry or yell? Well he called and said he was on the way last night. And me and Gavin busied ourselves waiting for HIM. When HE got there we were in the kitchen so he picked up little man for a minute and then put him down and started getting busy loading his stuff. HE barely said two words to me. Mostly just asking where this or that was. Nothing else. Then after he was done packing, with me and little man sitting right there in the living room he just stood by the door and said I think I got everything but I'll call if I think of anything else, talk to ya later. And shut the door. And walked out of our lives. No tears. No hug goodbye. No longing look towards me or little man. No one last kiss. No one last hug or kiss for little man either. He just left. I was so hurt when he shut that door that my heart just shattered into a million pieces and I cried so hard my chest hurt and my whole body was shaking. And then I straightened up and played with MY son. And I thought to myself....HIS loss. HE will realize one day that NO woman will put up with the things I did from him. NO woman could love him as much as I did despite his actions and being so undeserving of that unrequited love. We will be fine. We can do this without him. We will tie up all the loose ends and keep this in our past. We will forget in time the pain that we are now enduring. We will be happy and live our life. I will give Gavin all the love I have, because he is the only man who deserves it.