Deep breathing.....

I had a nice weekend. Full of things to keep busy. Lots of time with Gavin. It's been nice. I've come to a kinda calm point. Maybe it was my fortune cookie the other day saying "There will now be peace and harmony in your home." LOL. I kinda feel like me and Gavin have gotten into a nice new routine. We are very efficient and have lots of play time and yet the house is clean and the laundry is done. Got our groove on for sure! This week will be pretty busy. Until we get surveyed at work I'm the one and only nurse. That means I admit everyone, I do all the visits, I do all the chart auditing, and get everything ready for our survey. It hasn't been bad yet, but this week I've got at least 3 admissions, hopefully 4. It's hard work, but once we pass survey it will be so worth it! My boss says he is taking us on a trip when we pass survey. When he said think of somewhere to go, I was thinking where for dinner! LOL He said noooo I was thinking like....beach. OMG! Super cool. We shall see if it's for real though. It would be very easy to beg Chris to come back, and try again. Because I was comfortable in our relationship. We KNEW each other, every fault, every good thing, every dream. We just knew. But that is not enough to make a successful marriage. The things he did will never be erased. Knowing that he is capable of lying to me repeatedly and capable of doing the things he did behind my back, will never leave my mind. We can't go back to last summer when things were great. Before I found out that I was living in dream land and the person I was in love with wasn't the person that I thought he was. Can't go back. Can't erase pain and dishonesty. Yes I'm fine. I'm actually really fine. Yes I miss him, but I more miss who he was to me in the beginning. I miss what we could have had if none of the negative had happened. Hey, who knows, maybe this will trigger my writing again. LOL. Well, I'm off to make some cards.......till next time.....