Friendship

I wanted to delve deeper into what I feel and what I think God wants for me and from me in regards to friendship. This has been a very tough topic for me, my entire life. 

We make life what we want it to be. We make friendships what we want them to be. Be the friend you want to have. 

According to this latest friendship bible study I was reading there are 5 traits of a true Christian friendship.

Christian Friends Love Sacrificially - For me this means you do not choose your friends because of what they have to offer. For me this includes time together. Less time does not mean less friendship.  It means I love you enough to know that as long as your needs are met, and I do value your needs, I’m good. It means that whatever makes you happy, makes me happy. John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. (NIV)

Christian Friends Accept Unconditionally- We must love unconditionally. Through good and bad, thick and thin. The best friendships are with those who know and accept our weaknesses and imperfections. A good friend is quick to ask forgiveness and ready to be forgiving. Proverbs 17:17   A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (NIV)

Christian Friends Trust Completely- Trust is important in a friendship. It actually talked about the way I do things, putting complete trust in a few loyal friends, but not in all your mere companions because trusting too easily can lead to ruin. I agree with this wholeheartedly. I have few GREAT friends, and then some I would consider mere companions.  I do think that trusting is also not about telling secrets and such, but also about trusting that someone has your back no matter what. That someone would defend you to the ends of the earth with no question. That someone trusts in your friendship no matter how much you see or hear from the person, and vice versa.  Proverbs 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (NIV)

Christian Friends Keep Healthy Boundaries- This one I am not good at. But I’m gonna quote what the study said “If you feel smothered in a friendship, something is wrong. Likewise, if you feel used or abused, something is amiss. Recognizing what's best for someone and giving that person space are signs of a healthy relationship. We should never let a friend come between us and our spouse. A true Christian friend will wisely avoid intruding and recognize your need to maintain other relationships.”      1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy ... (NIV)

Christian Friends Give Mutual Edification- this one discussed how important it is in a true Christian friendship to build each other up emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Friendships are supposed to be for strength, encouragement and love. We talk, We Cry, We Listen. And it says “But at times we also have to say the difficult things our dearest friend needs to hear. Yet, because of the shared trust and acceptance, we are the one person who can impact our friend's heart, for we know how to deliver the hard message with truth and grace. I believe this is what Proverbs 27:17 means when it says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."  Proverbs 27:6 

I want those kind of friendships in my life. I’m not old, but I’m not getting any younger. I’m not so young that I NEED friendships to build me, but I AM old enough to know what kind of friend I want, and to choose my friendships wisely, to build up rather than tear down. 

As CS Lewis says “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…it has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” Beautiful!

Other verses to study on friendship:
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Ecclesiastes 6:16
Job 29: 4-6
Proverbs 13: 26, 18:24 (Trust Completely), 17:9, 27:5-6, 13:20, 22: 24-25, 28:28, 17:17(Accept Unconditionally), 27:10a, 27:9, 12:26, 14: 6-7, 11:14, 19:20, 24:5, 27:17
James 4:4, 4:8 (Greatest friend is God)
John 15:12-15 (Jesus on Friendship)(Love Sacrificially)
1 Corinthians 13:4 (Keep Health Boundaries), 15:33(Do not be deceived, bad Company ruins good morals)
Psalm 119:63
1 Samuel 18:3, 20:4, 20: 16-17, 18-22, 30-33, 41-42
Mark 12:31
Luke 6:31 (And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them)
Romans 12:10 "Love one another with brotherly affection..."
Ephesians 4: 29-32
Colossians 3:12-14

And stories of friendships in the bible such as:
Ruth & Naomi (Ruth 1: 16-17)
David & Jonathan (1 samuel 18:1-3)
Jobs Friends (Job 2:11)
Elijah & Elisha (2 Kings 2:2)