Kids are Amazing....

Being a mom is awesome. Gavin does the cutest things and all I can do is giggle and tell him how much I LOVE HIM! If I look at him and give him a really sneaky looking smile, he will do it back. Tilting his head down and smiling like he is bashful. It's adorable!! He has the most wonderful laugh in the whole world. I do whatever I can to make him laugh all the time, like tickling him, dancing around acting goofy, or whatever strange thing makes him laugh that day. The other day I was making some funny squeaky noise with my mouth and Gavin thought it was hilarious. He laughed the deepest belly laughs over and over and over. Too bad I couldn't reach the camera :(. Today he was crawling towards the open bathroom door and I started saying "no no no"....so he starts giggling and crawling super fast to try to beat me to the bathroom. LOL. It was hilarious! He is a great son for sure!

Living Green.....

I'm working on it! I know for sure several things that I would never give up, but there is alot each of us could do to save our precious planet. I want my son to have things that seem to be fading away.... I've been reading alot on line and here are a few things I've found so far that I'm willing to TRY.....

• Eco Friendly Laundry detergent - Trader Joe's, Ecover, or BioKleen. Choose powder over liquid to save water. Line dry clothes....(not sure I have the patience for that one!) Eventually purchase a more energy efficient dryer with a moisture sensor (they turn off when clothes are dry!) For each load of laundry you dry on a line you save 3.35 lbs of CO2 and 2.6 KwH.
• Save water by turning off the faucet while brushing teeth and doing dishes. Turn off shower when shaving legs. Take bathes instead of showers, only using shower head for rinsing off and washing hair.
• Use biodegradeable toothbrushes to avoid filling landfills with toxic plastic with frequently replaced toothbrushes!
• RECYCLE!!!!!
• More organic based beauty products. I'll TRY Burts Bee's lotions, moisturizers, toners, and I already love their chapstick. And Gavin uses Burts Bees Body Wash! I'll TRY their shampoo and conditioner for me too!
• Unplug things you are not using. Everything still zaps energy when not in use if it is still plugged in. Key things to unplug are microwave and coffeemaker. Each of these will save 34 lbs of CO2 just by unplugging them when not in use!
• Transportation - Ultimately I'll buy a Hybrid vehicle, but thats a ways away. I already try to drive the least amount I can get away with due to gas prices!
• We've switched to Green Works house cleaners. I woulda tried the vineager thing but it stinks!!!
• Can't do cloth diapers because the daycare would not do it and chris would hate it too!

http://www.radiustoothbrush.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWCATS&Category=16

I'll list any cool ideas I find as I find them!!

THursday 13 - Edition 1 (yes i'm new at it!!)

just in case you have no idea why i'm doing this... (i.e. you live under a rock.....)...thursdaythirteen.com.

Thirteen Things about Michelle Cooney'sI figure to get the hang of this 13'ing I'll start with places I want to travel to. So here goes...... Australia - I wanna see kangaroos and koala bears in the wild! And the scenery looks splendid! Greece - It seems like such a mythical place. Would love to see the blue waters and just the beauty of the land and the sea. Japan - So I can try REAL sushi! Plus I hear they have some AWESOME roller coasters there! Sweden - I really don't know why but for YEARS (i'm talkin' since I was a teenager!) I've been seriously interested in going there. Maybe it's the wooden shoes..... Tahiti - All the stunning pictures of seen of the little huts over the water and the hammocks hanging out on a limb over the clear blue water......oh yeah, gotta go there! Italy --- Can you say PASTA!? And the whole country seems to just ooze a romantic vibe Hawaii - beaches, waterfalls, beautiful flowers......what more could you ask for? New York, New York - I guess for stupid typical tourist-y reasons Ireland - I've read alot of books set in Ireland so it has alot of appeal to me. Not to mention my husband would just die to go! He says he is more irish than he knows he is. :) Vermont/Conneticut - to see where my mom grew up and meet the parts of my family I've never even met! Jamaica - seems like a very fun place! And their music is sweeeeeet California - Yes I wanna go to San Fransisco to ride the trolley thingy and see where they make rice a roni! lol. And San Diego to the awesome zoo I hear about, to northern cali where I hear it's the most beautiful, and of course do the gay tourist-y thing in LA and Hollywood! Bermuda - the triangle!.....it's got a mysterious allure for sure! ............till next week!!

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Layout from SU Class....

Finished this one last night.....

Give me back my scrappin' MoJo!

I've been slackin' the scrappn'! :( Just been busy and tired and had NO scrappy mojo! I think it might be coming back...... This "Enjoy" layout I did last night. I completed finished the layout and then when I was about to take a picture of it I HATED IT! So I tore everything off of it except the title and left the background paper and changed EVERYTHING else. lol. I liked it mUcH better the second time around.

Michelle and I went to a Stampin' Up Scrapbook Class today. It was nice to have some girl time, and since it was scrappy time it was even grander! We did 3 two page layouts that we just have to add pictures too. I'm going to try to start going to more classes during the week with Michelle. There are some cool one's we have heard about. Before we came home we were really bad and got Andy's!! Shhhhhhh, don't tell! I'm lucky I even got to go to this class, but since I had paid for it back in May I didn't have to worry about it!

When I got home me and Gavin goofed around and I reviewed some notes for work. But after he went to bed it was into the scrappy room I went! Here is the layout I did tonight. I kinda like it! The stitching was challenging and new for me, but I like how it turned out ultimately. The little card that says "Wishes" pulls out and has a list of my wishes for Gavin. :)

And this layout is from the other day, but when I took a picture of it, it sucked! So here is another shot at it. Because it's much more detailed than it looks in the pic from before! "Simple Moment"

And a blog would not be complete without a few pictures of Gavin :).....from this week...........

I said screw it.....

Why is it that some people lack the ability to change? They live their same boring life day in and day out and don’t seem to mind it one bit. They react the same way to things, they eat the same things, they do the same things, go to the same places, say the same things, talk to the same people. I have somewhat become a victim of this. I go to the same stores at about the same days/times, I talk to the same people, I text the same people, I stay home and watch the same shows, I have the same hair nights each week, on long weekends we always go to the farm. I never go out on week nights and rarely on the weekend do I go out, and hardly never without my son. I do like my life, but sometimes I remember dreams I used to have. I always wanted to live in Colorado or in Boston area. I wanted to be cool and go to museums and eat at little bistros on the street. I wanted to walk the streets of new york instead of driving everywhere I need to go. I wanted to be a nurse practitioner and have a pediatric clinic. I’ve wanted to be in nursing research. I’ve wanted to own my own home health agency. Yet here I am still in Tyler area, working for someone else (not that I don’t love my job, but that’s not the point!), and haven’t taken any more classes towards higher degrees since like 2003 or 2004! Now I’m on my second marriage and first baby. I own a house, which is good. But I want vacations and nice outfits. I don’t wanna wear scrubs everyday! I want to get my masters degree. I wanna eventually make a lot more money than I do now! I’d love to live in Colorado even now, but have to wait till I win the lottery and when Ethan turns 18 ! lol. I guess I’m just full of dreams at times. That’s the way us humans are though, at least the one’s with brains, always striving for bigger and better things. I love my son, husband, job, and house though! I’m probably going to register to start taking classes at home to get my bachelors degree and then Masters. I found the program and you just do it at your own pace, one module at a time and take as long as you need to do it. You pay monthly. If I can swing it, I really really wanna do this to further my education, job opportunities, salary range, etc. And plus I’ll just feel better about my self !! I need to start working out too. I’ve gotta be the fun cool mom so all Gavin’s friends will wanna come to OUR house so I’ll have to worry less about what kinda trouble he is getting into! Heheheh. Yes, I’m already worried about my son as a teenager. I hope I teach him enough about good and bad that he will know the difference and be a great kid! I hope I can be his friend, yet teach him discipline and respect. Well I better get off here and work some more !!!

Our Weekend at the Farm

Gavin loves eating real green beans and carrots! :) He looks and picks the perfect piece and then eats it ! It's a HUGE mess, thus the reason he has no shirt on! Eating apparently makes him happy! Or else mommy's funny faces do! heheheheHe also learned this weekend how to pull himself up!! He still falls over but he can get up to standing. He LOVES standing and walking around holding my hands. Much more than he likes crawling.

This is his attitude picture! hehhehe. He also absolutely LOVES riding on the four wheeler. Me and him go out on it and the faster I go the more he giggles and puts his hands up in the air! It's great!

Long Week.....

I've been working so hard this week. Lots of headaches too! One night I even went to bed at 9:45! I can't wait to relax at the farm this weekend!! And right the 4 wheeler all over hell and back! This is the only scrapbook layout I got done this week. :(. And here are some other pics from the last week!

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Do you Know how Loved You Are?

All the Pretty Little Horses

Well this is such a busy week at work! My boss is out of the country for the month and that leaves me in charge of everything! Wouldn't be a big deal except we were short staffed! Well I hired a friend of mine thats an RN today full time and another one part time. SO now all I need is an LVN !

Gavin learned how to crawl this weekend! It's great. He absolutely HATES it though! If he is crawling, the whole time he is crying and grumbling.....seems like he wants to say "damn you! I don't wanna crawl, just come get me!" I hope he starts liking it, but I need to baby proof everything still ! Well I walked at 10 months, so Gavin is 9 months this week so maybe he will just start walking! :) He says ma'ma but not on purpose! :(. He says Da Da Da Da MUCH more often!

Well It's getting closer and closer to Gavin's first birthday! My best friend made sure to remind me today that I should start planning! :) I just don't know what to do when he's too young to care! Maybe the zoo, because I love it! We shall see.

I have absolutely NO scrappy MoJo this week. :-( Not in the mood to do much of anything.

I did get my hair done this past friday and I love it! It's way different!

I'll say whatever I want

Guess what? This is MY blog. My tiny little morsel of cyber space. Where I can say and post whatever I feel like! If you don't like it, don't read it. Apparently I didn't make myself CLEAR enough in some of my previous blogs. Or detailed enough. I'm not going to list out what bills I have and who is helping with what while Chris is unemployed. His mother, my mom, and my dad are helping of course. BUT even with their help we are short. But don't worry, I didn't specify that while me and my parents are paying OUR bills, other people are paying Chris'. All I do to support him is feed him, house him, give him gas money, supply him with a phone, air conditioning, hot water. But that's all. Oh and don't forget my wifely duties. Which I have no problem doing any of this. Or even FULLY supporting him. It's when he goes behind my back like today and goes to several of the girls he used to fuck around with's myspace pages. And then lie to me about it when I asked. Yes I know I should have learned way back last summer before I even had Gavin, or before we were even married that he would always talk behind my back to all these girls. Yes I should have ended it when he was sleeping with me every night, I was supporting us, he was saying I love you to me, and I saw him writing messages to other girls about meeting at hotels, licking parts of them, wanting them, and dreaming of making love to them every night. WHILE HE IS WITH ME. WHILE HE IS TELLING ME HE LOVES ME. Then each time he would lie until finally he just couldn't lie about that incident anymore and he would beg for forgiveness and say he would never do it again. Yet he always DID do it again. Even 2 weeks after we got married he was telling one of these girls he wanted her and that he was PRETENDING to be married to me and couldn't wait to get out. Now YOU tell me how I should feel? And that I have NO right to be upset? And that I am the one who is wrong?! If you don't know the whole situation but you want to ASK ME! I'd much rather have it out in the open than have someone say I'm a bitch or anything else when you don't know what has happened or is happening now. I obviously love CHRIS WITH MY WHOLE HEART OR I WOULD NOT HAVE PUT UP WITH LIE AFTER LIE AFTER LIE AND HURT AFTER HURT AFTER HURT. I keep praying that he will change. That he will stop lying and stop using me. That he will take my feelings into consideration just once before he does something like this. That for once he will respect me the way he SAYS he does. Not one person can tell me that it is right to do the things he has done. I don't want any one to feel sorry for me, it is my own fault I'm in the situation I'm in and Ill deal with it on my own. But in the meantime Do NOT judge me. Right now my heart is so full of hurt it is up in my throat. My pulse is pounding in my head and I have no idea what to do. All I know is this lie and actions today have pushed me too far. I can't and shouldn't have to deal with lies and deception. I wouldn't tolerate it from anyone else, so why from the person who says they want to love me forever and above all else? I'm sick because I love someone so much and yet this happens. Over and over and over again. I'm sick because my son loves him also and thats not fair to him. That is NO role model. I don't want my son learning how to be that way to women. Why can't he just act the way he promises to act? Why hurt me and my son anymore than he already has?!

My weekend in pictures......

GASC Convention 2008. Me and Michelle hit Dallas.

Slow Week.....

I have not done much scrapping this week. My creativity seems to be shut down currently. I sit there and stare at the supplies and nothing seems to do what I want and nothing goes with anything. So I've got two layouts from the last week. I feel like there are a hundred things I day I want and need to do and don't have time for it all.